Not 'why me'

It occurred to me that I've been neglecting my blog again
And that you might think my brain aneurysm, Mr. Bubble, popped
(I wonder if you can blog from the great beyond?)

 ~ ~ ~

After a bad run in with the contrast dye used in a CT scan

I ran away to Santa Fe, NM with the overprotective hubby in tow

Because running to Santa Fe when I'm in trouble is what I do

in response to a relentless gut instinct; a yearning

And then I get there and I'm like 'ok, I'm here, now what'

 

So this time I announced to the heavens all teary-eyed between hubby-mandated naps
"What?! What do you want?! You have to be crystal clear cuz my brain is bubbly!"

(yeah it was chemically-induced drama wink-wink)

And so began a week full of subtle spiritual steps, connections, discoveries

Things that can only be described as 'creepy-cool'

I discovered that while I've always listened to my gut and gone to Santa Fe

I never bothered asking or listening once there

I asked myself 'Why' when I heard about the aneurysm

Not in the sense of 'oh why me and not her' 

(yes, I've been the recipient of that one from others in the past & think it's ugly)

More along the lines of 'damn, what did I do physically to cause this'

And I saw it all clearly

 

Now my question has been replaced with 'Thank You'

as in 'Thank you Mr. Bubble for opening my eyes to what is important

and what is no longer useful in my life and worthy of letting go.

But most importantly, for removing the block to my spiritual growth.'

And with this new mental weeding has come a slow weeding out in my environment

Although let me tell you that I completely freaked the family out

when I started giving away alot of my clothes and things

They demanded to know why I was giving up; why I thought I was dying

I just smirked and said I was making room for the new and improved me

And reminded them my birthday is next week