Musings on My Quest....

 It's no secret I am my harshest critic
I do not look to others for validation - rather I seek my own approval

I do not compare myself to others in the sense of 'oh everyone is better than me'

rather I wonder how to remove the self imposed obstacles

that keep me from achieving what I admire in others

I do not seek to be loved but rather seek to find myself worthy of loving myself
So that in turn I can fully love those who truly love me

In the past few years since starting on my quest
I realize how much I've learned and changed in the process

I have learned that I will meet people who sound the alarms in my head
And when I choose to ignore those warnings...

well, I'd better be prepared for the lessons I'll face.

But that in seeing the ugly side of people I discover their hidden fears
which in turn expose my hidden fears

that once exposed, can be addressed or released.

I've learned that I don't need to settle on one way of thought
or belief, or craft, or path

That it's ok for me to let go of people and things to make room for more.

That nothing is 'wrong' with me because I continuously seek.

Because I am not seeking answers as the destination...

I seek answers because each one opens up new questions
new lines of thought, explorations, adventures.

Each one acting like a foothold on the climbing wall
leading from one to the next as I climb higher and higher...

For me, life is all about the journey.

It is about the differing opinions, spiritual beliefs, people, 

cultures, lands, hobbies, jobs, emotions, habits, worlds...
the whole beautiful mess.

And when I get stuck, something or someone comes along
to give me that much needed kick.
And I'm back on my gloriously intoxicating journey of exploration.

It's all good.