Bribery

I've been really content lately

I found my purpose and with it a surreal sense of existence

A sense of not wanting to speak too loudly lest the 

formerly elusive purpose bolts and hides in the weeds again

But

I am still a Mom

I am still supposed to be responsible

I am still supposed to roar deeply and bare my teeth at the enemy

well maybe not roar and bare but atleast use my head to help him

Except

my head won't cooperate

I try to beg it to please think of how to help this sick child

my head smirks

I try to charm it into cooperating

my head laughs

I try to sneak around it and start making calls

and my head retaliates by shutting down the brain cells

I get frustrated so I 'throw off the gloves' and tell my head

BRING IT ON

So when I'm sitting there with a squinty eye and slurring

I realize I'm going about it all wrong

I feel the warning bells telling me something is off with his meds

But the connection between head and warning bells is off and I'm clueless

So I throw it all aside

I go back to basics

Chicken soup, rest, prayer

I find a new Doc who I'll interview next week

I tell my brain to please cooperate or no more enjoying the purpose

Bribery

Still going about it all wrong

but it's all I've got right now