Oh those elders...

I tried driving my block one day

It was horrifying

Ok it was more like trying to drive a car

with your eyes spinning in opposite directions

with things flying at you from all angles

while you tried to keep all four wheels on the ground

Except I don't think my eyes were really spinning, no flying things,

 and all wheels were on the ground

But my head felt like that

And judging from the wide-eyed horrified look on my hubby's face

I was acting like that

heehee

No worries there were no people, or animals, in harm's way

My balance is quirky

Probably because my eye, ear and half my head are still asleep

So the physical therapists give me challenging exercises to work on balance

Simple things like closing my eyes and balancing on two feet make my head spin

Balancing. On. TWO. Feet

Heehee! It's rather hilarious

I'm taking it all in stride

I'm rather calm most of the time

Except when hot flashes wake me in the night

And I can't get back to sleep

Then my face and eye swell due to lack of sleep

But sometimes my son or hubby start acting weird

Very snippy or short tempered

Which is rather odd

I decided it must be me...as in I must bring out the worst in people

Because it sure seems that people always act their worst around me in time

While I was happy to have recognized this fault

I have no clue how to fix it because I honestly don't know what I'm doing

~ ~ ~

I love when my Mama tells me stories 

especially those pertaining to the seniors' groups

She was telling me about a woman in her 80s who was at bingo

with her 'young' boyfriend in his 70s 

I tried explaining it was ok if she had this boyfriend until

she explained that there was another woman there dating the same 'young' man

It so happened all three were at bingo on the same night and a fight broke out

The shouting match became so ugly that all three were thrown out

At first I was truly amused

about the 80 year old dating the young man in his 70s

But then when I heard the women in their 80s were fighting over a man

like teenagers

I was disgusted, horrified, saddened

I guess I always figured older people have it all together

They're above pettiness

They can control jealousy

They're the elders after all

But I've been finding out that's not the case

Some people just don't outgrow that craziness

Fear manifests itself in the form of jealousy, anger, judgement...

and it lashes out at others in some rather ugly hurtful ways

often prompting the ugliness to manifest in those caught in its path

 ~

I went to my hubby and said I'm sorry for whatever I've done but what gives

Turns out I was doing nothing 

And his fear at not knowing how to help me

How to protect me

Was making him rather testy

Which makes no sense to me but in this guy's mind did

All is good now

I've reminded the hubby I'm a tough cookie

Taking it step by step

 

When you shine the light on fear you can't get swallowed by its darkness

Right?