I'm Still Here...

Thank you so much for your comments

I sure hope it didn't sound as if I was fishing

for pats on the back

But here is where I capture thoughts

and it's good to toss out the bad thoughts along with the good

What prompted the last post?
This will sound weird to say but I feel sort of 'guilty'
I was thinking that somewhere in that hospital was someone else who died
and I didn't
And perhaps that someone had more to offer and well...
boom...out pops that post

As my brain and body start to reawaken

it's been a bit disconcerting to realize I'm lost

but I've been lost for quite a while so that's no problem

And through it all I am still very grateful
I'm amazed at what the body can do
And intrigued by how fast I can take steps backwards if I overdo it
I have trouble with numbers and slur if I'm tired or eat too late
My thoughts get jumbled and I forget things
Or wait maybe I always did those things
ha!

~ ~ ~

I've made a few discoveries as I slowly restart my journey

I don't like being self absorbed, I want to do things that benefit others

I like meeting new people but no longer feel a need for close friendships

I no longer feel a need to belong with a group

I want to help others

Even more so now than before

A way to say thanks to the Universe

I've run into quite a few people lately who are lonely

or talked a bit to those who think people are nuts so have hidden away

(I agree with that but think hiding away isn't the answer)

and have heard of those who have just given up

Maybe I'll win the lottery so I can buy a bunch of sweatshirts like this

and pass them around randomly to people to remind them

Not that a sweatshirt is the answer but it's nice to get a gift

but for now

I'll start with myself

It doesn't matter if I don't know why I'm still here...God knows