Survived the Tube!

As I lay in the MRI machine yesterday
I couldn't help but be amused by the power of my brain

I'm claustrophobic

Armed with headphones playing my husband's favorite country channel

And eyes squeezed shut so hard that my eyelashes seemed to be inside my eyeballs

I ignored the plastic guard on my head

And constraints on my neck

"You can't move," one side of my brain teased "it's closing in."

With slight panic and skipping heartbeats the other side of my brain replied

"I can move if I want to. I'm in a large open field, sleepily relaxing on the ground."

"You mean the ground that's swallowing you? It's dark. Can you feel it? Look!" it chided

At the fluttering of my eyes I panicked "Don't open your eyes! Can you see the huge expanses of sky and land that goes for miles. Feel the warmth of the sun." 

"Feel that needle in your arm? Tubing that ties you to the table? Constraints. 

You can't move."

Now I'm really panicking wondering how far I have to scuttle downwards on the table

And how far I'll get if I run

And then I think...hell I'm fighting with myself. 

My brain is doing this to me.

NOT the machine.

And so it went for over an hour

BLOOMP, BLOOMP, chatter, chatter, panic, WHIRR, WHIRR, chatter, chatter

and in between there was unexpected chatter

about my next endeavors with Madame Styx

I'll be honest here...I'm pursuing publication

And currently fighting the mind chatter that goes with it

But in true Madame fashion...she responded to me with a post

The thing is 

Whatever that voice is that tries to scare the beejeezus out of me
Really isn't

It's trying to get my attention

Like jumping up and down saying hey! hey look over here!

Because if I find the courage to confront it and look behind it

I find that the 'monster' disappears once it has my attention

I'm not afraid of failing with Madame Styx

I'm afraid nobody cares

As in not one person will care for her message

That Madame will not be able to help even ONE person in the world

Because that's my goal...to help atleast ONE person

I may not be able to save the world

But if I help ONE person remember his/her greatness...

and that person goes on to be the next great inventor or finds a cure for cancer 

or starts the family line that somewhere along the line births the person

who invents the means to feed the hungry without poisoning everyone

well, hell, that would be a successful venture 

I don't want to be rich and famous

I want to wake up the other sleepers like me

And there it was

Madame Styx woke me up

She helped ONE person

Now I can go on and let her try to help another person

If you're interested...here's the Madame Styx post

that resulted from yesterday's mind chatter

Madame Styx Moxie