Taking up space

There are bad days...days when I wonder why I'm still here
Days I wonder if I am taking up space or here for a reason...a purpose

I've heard so many people say I don't know what my purpose is
Reacting to some inner twinge that says there is something more to do
And I understand the sadness that dances among their words

I want to say something, help them, point out the way

but I can't because I sit beside them

and it's up to each of us to discover our way

"Follow your passion" has always made me cringe

Followed by "Oh you'll just know what your passion is-that's your purpose"

Well what if my purpose is to passionately kick your butt...haha!

just kidding

I think

I do believe everyone has something they're good at

Something they enjoy to do but wouldn't really miss it if they didn't

But something you enjoy isn't always a passion
I imagine passion like a flame that burns deep in your soul

That builds, and using all your senses, bursts forth in an all-encompassing ball of energy
Spilling out in its own form of communication

I enjoy watching people with passion work
Some are driven by a need to be seen or heard
Some are driven by a need to make money but there is something lacking

Some are driven by a need to connect with their own voice

Some with a need to help those they love

Some are driven by a need to abuse

But then there are those who are driven by a deeper need

And it's those that I love to see

Those that make tears fall down my face

Some people have something deep inside that 

when they talk, sing, or write truly inspires you

in their presence it's as if their soul touches your soul

coaxes it out of hiding, lights a spark and soars

you feel what you're meant to feel

you feel love, hope, faith, strength, connection

you feel what they feel

you feel part of something bigger

you feel God's touch

One day in my next lifetime I will be one of those people

My soul will touch someone's soul and banish the fears

the loneliness, the doubts, the bad stuff

Well that can't happen but I can light a spark right?

I don't want my passion to be for money, accolades or fame

I just want my soul to soar
And in soaring remind other souls that they can soar too

well I can dream right

ha ha!

So I don't have a purpose but I can keep being aware

Watching and learning

One foot in front of the other

Keeping faith that God doesn't make mistakes

and I'm not just taking up space

I have no clue how to find your purpose
perhaps there is no purpose (I still doubt that)
but if I happen to find mine in this lifetime I'll share it
and I'll never ever tell you 'follow your passion'
and if I do
you can kick my butt