Water speaks....

I can't explain the connection, or deep desire, to be near water this year. It's really not like me to want to be by the beach. But this year has been different. Led by a strong desire to be near the water. And so I was thrilled when hubby arranged a week's vacation in Northern Michigan.

The family shared two cabins near the water's edge. But I was quickly disappointed when instead of sand it was a loose silt very similar to quicksand. I know this after watching hubby walk in and sink to his hips. The cabin was stinky and filthy with that stickiness of goodness knows what. I wanted to cry and quickly felt ashamed at my reaction. Could I be so shallow as to let this get to me? But I wanted water and this was more of a stagnant cesspool.

In the morning I decided to make the best of this trip and walked down to the pier. It was early enough that fog tendrils still danced on the mirrored surface of the water. Entranced I sat at the edge and watched. I watched them spiral along only disrupted by water spiders caught in their own dance across the surface. I looked into the clear water and noticed the fish looking back so still that I thought they were dead. Across the water I saw a mother deer lead her fawns for a drink. I smiled as one hopped around in a game of chase.

It became a morning ritual. To wake before the others and walk down to the pier with Jazz. We both sat, watched, and listened. We heard the coyote songs and in the distance the sounds of a drum. At first I thought I was hearing things but I found that if I positioned myself just so and stood very still, that the sound was clearer. And I heard the rhythmic thump, thump, thump. I closed my eyes and listened. I could hear it clearly as it carried across the water. I could hear the fish as they moved in the shallow water. I could hear the cattails sway in the breeze. And it all seemed to be in rhythm with the thump, thump, thump of the drum. I then heard distant singing join in the rhythm and wondered if there was an Indian ceremony far away. I felt honored in some strange way for being included. And I opened my eyes to find four fish gathered at the edge of the pier looking up at me. Perhaps wondering if I'd fall in and become breakfast.

On my last morning I went to say goodbye to my 'cesspool' and offer apologies for having misunderstood. Although I couldn't enjoy her by walking or swimming within, she shared her gifts nonetheless. I placed my hand in the water and watched as the ripples moved in quiet circles away from my hand. Realizing that this must be symbolic of how we affect others around us as everything we do sends out ripples. And I placed my hand in the water again and moved it around. And the ripples were larger and reached far towards the center of the lake. And I knew then that how I live my life affects the size of the ripples. I could be still and quiet or I could choose to make big ripples.

I came away with lessons. More of which I'll share later. But for the moment I'm feeling loss. And instead of hiding I know it's a lesson I need to confront no matter how uncomfortable. I learned the most important lesson on my mornings on the pier.

My journey may be full of pitfalls

And it may not be clear

But there is always support

Waiting for me in the fog

I just need to watch and listen

~ ~ ~ ~

I found this under symbolism of water:

...From liquid, to solid, to vapor - water is the epitomal symbol for metamorphosis and philosophical recycling. A quick list of symbolic meanings for water include transformation, subconscious, intuition, renewal, blessing, motion, life....