Thursday night my mother in law, Mama Lill,
passed away in her sleep
Mama Lill was a beautiful person both inside and out
A tiny, but strong, woman
Who either loved you or didn't
and there was never a doubt which it was
She was genuine
Mama Lill was in my life a short time
but the lessons she gave me are deeply engraved
She taught me about unconditional love
When I first met her
the only question she had was whether I was too young for her son
After that it was "call me Mama Lill", wide open arms, bear hugs
and a 'dai mi buzi' or 'give me kiss'
She immediately took my son in as another grandchild
She and my Mama bonded tightly and those hugs extended to my whole family
She reinforced the love of family
the importance of traditions; pride in ancestry
Lessons carried on by her two sons
who always treated her like a queen
She and Daddy Ed were married for over 60 years
It was the first time I had ever seen true love between husband and wife
I could watch them for hours and it was humbling
They were still in love until Daddy Ed died two years ago
I saw the light leave her eyes then as she began the decline
and spoke of missing him terribly
Like confidants we'd discuss angels and afterlife
She'd tell me she couldn't wait to be reunited with Daddy Ed
We'd joke about the celebration awaiting her on the other side
as she crossed the threshold between this life and the next
The thing is
I haven't cried
And I know I must appear cruel to the outside world
my beliefs about death have been changing drastically
No denying I will miss her physical presence
But I feel her all around me
I feel sorrow for the family she leaves behind
But
I feel comfort in knowing two souls have been reunited
I feel comfort in knowing that there was a large group
awaiting her arrival
I feel comfort that she passed in her sleep
instead of being hooked up to machines in the hospital
The thing is
She died in her bed, snuggled in her blankets like usual
except that one arm was draped across the side of the bed
where Daddy Ed used to lie
I'd like to believe he was there with her
And as she reached to embrace the love of her life
He carried her back home
Goodbye for now Mama Lill
'da mi buzi'
She sounds like a great woman. Rest in peace, Mama Lill. Condolences to your husband and you and your family.
ReplyDeleteSounds like she was a beautiful person and you were lucky to have her in your life, even if only for a short while. And we should all be so lucky as to die that way! You are not cruel....you are wise.
ReplyDeleteThere is no right or wrong way to deal with death. I feel emotional tears from your gentle words. Instead of grieving for your loss, celebrate what you gained from her presence.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, touching post.
ReplyDeleteI think how a person is effected by someone's passing has to do with what they believe about death, how the person lived their life, when and how the person died. Grief is for the living. And it's personal.
If death can be joyful (and I believe it can) hers was. To die in your sleep reaching out for the love of her life...and welcomed with open arms. What a glorious way to leave. :)
Sounds like you are following your heart on this one. I'm sorry for your loss. Always hard to lose a loved one, even if we feel it is what they wanted. Been there, done that. Hugs all the way around.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was quite a woman. I can't help feeling she and her beloved are together now and happy to be so. I wish you comfort and solace.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog while blog surfing. This story about your mother in law has me crying. I'm probaly going to be losing mine "soon" I hope you are doing ok. I,also, like to imagine the reception my mil will receive when she gets to the other side. All the loved ones she lost will be there to greet her.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your touching post. It
did give me a little peace.
God Bless You
Diana
I am crying too, Elena. But only because your story is so beautiful. What a special lady and what a special connection you have with her.
ReplyDeleteSecond time, yesterday, I saw an elderly lady who looked like my mother. She looked at me. Second time, I could not reach her. Second time, in the same place.
I missed this post earlier, sorry.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful epitaph. RIP, Mama Lil, in the arms once again of Daddy Ed.