Life Time Line in Shoes

Sometimes even I crack up by the things that pop into my head. Such as this:

Elena's Timeline in Shoes

~ ~ ~

In college I wore something like this

with tights and skirts

until my Mama hid them and threw them away

said they were 'inappropriate'

Upon graduation and into job #1

And all those nights of partying

I wore these

all - the - time

 Ignoring everyone's comments that I should wear this, that or the other

 And oh the stories these could tell

Just looking at them now evoke smiles

And then shy grins

And then hand over eyes and blushes

Did you know I could climb a fence, deck rooftop and

scale up electrical conduit to the second floor balcony in those heeled ones?

While wearing elbow length gloves?

Stupidity? Yeah...but oh what fun!

(My Mama recently returned these that she found in my old closet)

 But eventually work provided these

 And the 12-14 hour workdays required the dreaded

"Sensible Shoe"

and with it came sensible sneakers, house slippers, marriage, mortgage, bills, 

conforming adulthood, 

job changes, crying baby, daycares, longer work hours, more sensible shoes

~ ever notice how they all look the same ~

Then came my Dad's death and surgeries and an early mid-life crisis

and I stepped into these

 And oh the stories they could tell

Just looking at them now evoke smiles

And make my head lift high with pride

as I remember the close calls through the Californian Santa Ana winds, 

Arizonian sand storms and Canadian downpours, 

even the beautiful Hawaiian Hana Hwy and still coming back alive

Times I didn't conform and ignored everyone telling me how inappropriate I was

Or the fallback, "what kind of mother are you"

But somewhere in the past year I've been wearing them less and less

pulling these out more and more along with sensible sneakers and fuzzy slippers

But lately a little teeny voice begged for these

And when an old friend saw the photo she said

"Aren't those like the ones you had in the 90s?!" (snicker,snicker)

So I defiantly bought them

And when they arrived I put them on and her voice echoed in my head

And I hesitated

Am I just a middle-aged chick trying to hold onto youth?

I didn't think these were 'age appropriate only' footwear

They make me happy, they make me smile

And they sat in the box for a week

Resigned, I finally told myself - leave the 'sexy' to those under 35

And I mailed them back to the store

So as I look down upon my feet and tell good ole sensible shoe

just how much I hate them

my heart feels heavy

~ ~ ~ ~

A funny thing happens when you review your life in shoes

I realize now the mistake I made

I have always ignored the voices of sensibility

of conformity

of gender or age-appropriateness

so why did I choose to listen now?
I told myself I was older, wiser, time to act my age, 
don't embarrass The Kid, be an adult
conform, fit in
~

I just may have to get dream boots back
if I can convince myself I'm not going back in time

Because I'm not quite ready to start wearing geriatric shoe

 ~ ~ ~ ~

When I was cleaning out my closet the other day
I found a pair of stilettos
As in eye-gouging-deadly weapon stilettos
Trying to figure out why I would have these...I remembered
And covered my eyes and blushed

~ ~ ~
Hope you figured out by now this is more about perceptions, change
conformity than it actually has to do with footwear
I'm darned lucky the Universe gives me these physical clues
when it's time to start focusing on how my perceptions
are affecting my physical reality
~

“You have brains in your head. 

You have feet in your shoes. 

You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. 

You're on your own.

And you know what you know. 

You are the guy who'll decide where to go.” 

Dr. Seuss