I open my eyes....

On those rare occasions when I get to sleep in my bed

This is the first thing I see as my eyes crack open

In that sleepy haze where I try to remember where I am

I open my eyes a tiny bit more surprised that I have another day

And thank the Great Spirit

As I mentally scan if it's a school day or weekend

I notice that there are less leaves

I notice the dead tree stump

I feel my mood take a dip

I go with it a bit

Soon, bare branches and cold

And I close my eyes

Like a fisherman standing still in the waters

Knowing when to give his line slack

Or when to reel it in just so

I counter my downward slide thoughts

with gratitude

I get to see this; no longer looking out upon a brick wall

I get to hear the birds; no longer the sounds of wailing sirens

the swirl of colors dance to the sounds of the wind chimes

and my heart swells

I get another day at being in a physical body

~ ~ ~

On Week 7 of the Artists Way by Julia Cameron

I thought reading the book again would make me an artist

Instead it's like entering the closet and dumping all the contents on the ground

Having to sort, discard, evaluate, rehang

Like an archaeological dig

I have discovered treasures that require careful unearthing

 

Sometimes I become overwhelmed and try to run away

From the pile of 'stuff' all around

And I tell myself, be still and patient like the fisherman

Give it a little slack, reel it in just so

It's a perfected dance of a little give and a little take

Not closing my eyes and hoping for the best

Not trying to grab the reins and guiding its every move

It's about trusting and knowing that I am part of it all

Believing that I will be guided along the way

That I will uncover that which needs uncovering

And the rest will fall away 

I just need to open my eyes and take a step forward

~ ~

I smile thanking the Great Spirit again

I sit up, ruffle the dogs heads at my feet and say out loud

"God, life is good. Do You get tired of me saying thanks all the time?"

As the dogs look up and yawn