See this?
This little detail of animal next to a cigarette
was playing havoc with my heart for a week
was playing havoc with my heart for a week
It reflected how I have felt
Longing freedom vs feeling trapped
Longing for the wild vs stuck in man-made boxes
Feeling the walls closing in
Feeling the world was doomed and feeling myself spiral into negative thought
Because that paw belongs to this
Six month old captive wolf cub in the middle of a town fest
~ ~ ~
So I may scare a few of you away with this subject
You may even begin to think like my sister in law
Who in her most concerned voice tries to tell me
I'm possessed by evil spirits
And casually leaves me the Watchtower to read
But let me soothe your fears ~ I'm just a seeker
~
When I started the Artist's Way by J.Cameron 5 weeks ago
I didn't really expect anything more
than a chance to bond with online friends
Instead I am finding that each week sifts through the sediment
to reveal one more fossilized unrecognizable pellet
Right about now I have several unconnected bits and pieces
sitting on the sidelines waiting to be cleaned up
I've also noticed my senses feel more alive
My dream and meditative states rich with images and messages
And the ideas pop into my head like mental sparklers
A Wolf has begun appearing in meditations or dreams
Something I finally decided to stop chalking up to woo-woo nonsense
and embrace as my power animal, a very welcome guide
(can you see why my sister in law says I'm possessed)
so it was with little surprise when I ran into the wolf cub
What I wasn't prepared for was the punch in the gut
when I looked into his eyes
I felt a moment of desperation; of loss
And had to quickly regain composure
What my wolf guide has taught me instead is the need for balance
Loyal pack animals they also maintain their individualism
This creature, typically associated with the night,
teaches about inner power and strength
about facing fears, taking risks, and finding self
until that moment where I can truly understand who I am
in the face of others' opinions, beliefs and judgements
of maintaining my individualism in a world that dictates adherence to the rules
of maintaining my individualism in a world that dictates adherence to the rules
So for now
I remain calm and blessed for this opportunity
Those bits and pieces I am unearthing like a skilled archeologist
will eventually fit together to form a grand treasure
Life seems to break us up as we walk the path. Some pieces get buried for protection and we forget where we put them. Others fall like rain drops and evaporate. When we are ready to reassemble ourselves, we must first go on a scavenger hunt before we can begin putting together the jigsaw puzzle of our true self.
ReplyDeleteThe wolf (teacher) is my power animal too. You should incorporate any illustrations in the Watchtower into your art as some kind of statement -- collage anyone?
ReplyDeleteGod what a gorgeous creature. Let's hope he has accepted his people as his new pack and that he is treated with the utmost respect.
ReplyDeleteA very well written post. You author you!
I don't know if we can ever truly understand ourselves because we are always changing, but you are getting as close as anyone can, I think. A Wolf is a powerful totem and seems fit for you. I get the feeling from reading your writings, that you have much undiscovered power in you, much strength, but that you have not allowed yourself to accept this of yourself just yet. But hey, what do I know;-J I'm still learning about myself too!
ReplyDeleteWow powerful stuff - the first image made me angry, we live in a world that doesn't think beyond its own selfish concerns, we take the wisdom of the creatures that we share this planet with for granted. I agree with your sentiments we have to allow the uncomfortable feelings to surface and then be brave enough to stare them in the face - we must listen to our dreams, recognize the images in our meditations - we must be brave
ReplyDeleteThe fact that the word *Watchtower* was in this post thoroughly convinced me YOUR are fine and if anyone else is, ummmmm, otherwise, it is the one trying to give it to you. ....omg.....
ReplyDeleteWhy would we not connect with animals? In any belief tradition, animals and humans came from the same creator, so there is much to learn.
I'm probably babbling incoherently, but you know what I mean.
Follow your path Elena.
Don't let others throw you off of it. Especially when they walk a path of lies themselves...
XXOO~~
Anne
Animal guides, signs from the Universe,etc.. they are all there for us to see, use, feel, embrace, learn from, when we have opened ourselves up to the Quest. That is why they are coming fast and furious right now, my friend. Because more and more of us are opening...The world needs us, so let the ones who say we are possessed, or crazy, or too sensitive, or naive, journey their own path. The Universe has invted us all along. We just have to accept the invitation.
ReplyDeleteTravel well today, my Seeker Friend. In those sexy, black boots with chains that just may make the journey all that much sweeter ! ;-)
Your photograph is heart-wretching. Such a beautiful animal. I have to reread your post.
ReplyDelete