Prayers Please

I've been making great strides on the Artists Way

Taking large steps forward, falling, crawling,

doing the drop and roll and popping back up with a few leaps throw in

Proudly I looked at my imaginary battle scars 

secretly believing I had become a better, and stronger, person who

could handle just about anything that came my way 

But true tests have a way of knocking the wind out of you

Today I heard my friend Anne of El Milagro is facing a battle with a bad disease

The news didn't sink in; I told her I would request prayers

I told her I'm here for her

And then the news took me out at the knees

I panicked

She is my first 'girl friend'

the first one I let in when I started taking down

the slabs of stone I had carefully built around my heart

The fact we met here is astounding

It led into long conversations with us laughing and choking and laughing some more

I met her in person and found a true jewel

We were going to have a full weekend of playing in the studio next week

And all I could think of as my heart pounded on my chest was

"I don't want to lose her!"

I cried, then became angry at the useless doctors, and cried some more

Then I looked for those slabs of stones

so I could start to rebuild the wall around my heart once more

I stood in the pile ready to build

And felt a deep sadness

Knowing that I have made other friendships

Had Anne not kicked down that wall with the Doc Martens

I wouldn't have opened up to the others

So is it better to hide and not know love

or to feel love and the pain of potential loss

My Mama said that the vibes I am sending are no good

"Pick yourself up and send her love" she said

So I am

My heart is broken but the pieces can still send love

And if you can send her positive and healing energy

Perhaps those energy cells in her body will rev up

and kick the crap out of the disease

I am allowing myself to wallow in the sadness just for today

I am human after all

But tomorrow

Tomorrow I will arm an energetic attack to support my friend