Communication

As a Project Manager I knew how crucial communication was

Without it projects would break down and fail

I was good at it

Recognized potential problems and acted accordingly

Relationships are trickier

I have one failed marriage to prove I wasn't very good

at communicating on a more personal level

Doing better at number two by recognizing old patterns

and making sure I keep those lines of communication open

I've even become good at reading people's non-verbal cues

Can pick up a vibe from an email

Recognize body language

The things they don't say that speak volumes

Where I truly suck is at intrapersonal communication

the dreaded self-talk

Sure I know there is the 'little voice' that says

don't forget to buy bread, pay the bill, pick up the kid

sometimes even says 

you can't do that or yeah let's go for it

but I DO NOT recognize its other aspects

it may as well be speaking Swahili

Somehow I ignored, or didn't recognize, my body's distress signals

Got to the point of being listless, confused, weirded out

Luckily I have an online tribe that's also good at picking up email vibes

And made me go to the doc

Funny how one little bp pill and antibiotic

can make you feel sooooo much better

But I didn't see it

My body tried telling me; I just didn't listen

 And in the same day

an artist whom I admire said I have to stop being negative

say I am an artist

believe in my talent

believe in my dreams

I thought what is he talking about?

So I asked

He said it's how I phrase my questions or comments

As in "I'm just a wannabe artist, so I'd like to know..."

or "This is stupid but I would like to..."

I thought wow, when you point it out that way, yeah that's bad

Here's a complete stranger

Pointing out a bad habit

How did I not see it?

So I asked The Hubs and then The Mama

who both said yes I'm very negative

self-bashing

They tried telling me I have talent

I said they have to say that because they love me

And they said 'see!'

I shut up

I asked The Kid

he's brutally honest; no sugar coating there

What am I like Kid?

Ma, you're an artist who doesn't do art

You're talented but complain about yourself

You're going to give yourself a heart attack

humph

I wonder if I can divorce myself

on grounds of 'lack of communication'

Maybe I can learn Swahili...
 ~
Every human has four endowments- 

self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. 

These give us the ultimate human freedom... 

The power to choose, to respond, to change.
~Stephen Covey