Exposed or Part 3

I feel like a limp noodle that lies dangling off the edge of the pot

Yeah, just like that

And being so tired I thought about not posting but realized I need to

Otherwise it swirls in my head until the words bind to each other

Creating make-believe horror stories

So as an update to the previous two posts (sorry this is becoming a saga)

My Mama has diverticulitis and C-Diff which she caught at the rehab center

Although she's being treated with antibiotics, she looks the same

She's mostly just laying there, occasionally opens her eyes, or says a few words

When they told us her diagnosis yesterday, they handed my sister and I gowns

Saying it was contagious

I laughed reminding them I've been taking care of her for the past 7 days

I was beyond gown protection

And I started thinking (yeah it never stops) about 'Exposure'

After my Reiki I attunement, I found the naked woman at the side of the road

Besides her evident physical exposure

The incident also exposed the humanity in those that helped

It also may have exposed us to Hep

I felt guilty when it came time to be attuned to Reiki II last Friday

My sister stayed with my Mama

But later I realized that by leaving my sis alone

It exposed her hidden strength; I was amazed and proud

I've also reconnected with the shyness I thought I outgrew

I'm really shy about doing Reiki on anyone

My dear teacher Linda sure knew what she was doing

when she gave me the homework assignment of finding 10 people in 6 weeks

to give free Reiki to; I can't even do one

I've tried it on my Mama and I feel completely exposed

I've been exposed to the love of family and friends
So many calls from around the country and places around the city
People I never knew she knew
All wanting to know how they can help
People who love her dearly

Being in the hospital with my Mama so often

has exposed me to the infection but most importantly

it has exposed me to the other side

Like undeveloped film

Somehow I have connected to her energy and have experienced what she has

I've already told you what happened during the last two posts

My eldest sister was there with me yesterday

And the energy in the room was different; still

And my Mama was quiet

Today I was there alone with her and she was sleeping

Then she said "carne molida" which means ground meat

I leaned over and asked if she was hungry

Eyes closed she said "no that's what I told Carlos you had on your head"

Ummm....what?

She said Carlos had asked her what was on top of the white bones sitting on my head

I laughed and said

"Ma, are you telling me I have ground meat for brains?"

She laughed as she opened her eyes and said

"You found a dead baby eagle and put it on your head. Your son was taking a picture

of you with the bird on your head and your nephew wanted to know what it was."

Then she told me to get out before she offended me more

or kicked me with the cast

She slept some more

And I watched as she slowly moved her head to the side

And said, "I'm watching Sparky behind my eyelids moving to the side

I'm following her to see what she's doing"

So I asked if she saw all of Sparky and what was she up to

My Mama said she has seen the black furry face often come up close to her

and move to the sides

I laughed

Because I've seen it too

I saw it during my Reiki II attunement

The black furry face that looks like Sparky's but also like a wolf's

It comes up so close that we could be nose to nose

And I saw it in my dreams last night

~

Exposed: not concealed; displayed for viewing; Susceptible to attack or criticism; vulnerable;
 To subject to an action, influence, or condition;
To subject to the action of light;
To make visible. 

And it finally occurs to me

There's nothing wrong with being exposed

My definition...

Exposed: To be blessed