The People

My Mama loves people

She has always loved being in crowds

Still takes the bus downtown to 'see the people'

And walk in the zoo or botanical gardens

Hangs out at the Salvation Army and church activities

This is confusing to someone like me who avoids the people

Who feels like I'm overwhelmed by all the conflicting emotions

Like I'm a sponge sucking up all the different vibes

I asked her once why and she responded

"I love to study the people"

So you can imagine what living in the Rehab center has been like for her

She's thriving

We've teased her that that is why she is being released tomorrow

She's having too much fun

I joined her therapy class yesterday to learn how it's done

Instead I learned to see through her eyes

"See that woman there" she said "refuses to do anything they say"

I responded with "I can feel her...she's a very angry person...feels this is beneath her"

"See that woman there" she said "I think she's alone because pobrecita is always in the same clothes"

I responded with "Well maybe her family is too far to come take her laundry"

"See that man there"....

Every comment was said with compassion

all the while she'd interrupt herself to return a greeting

to some passing patient or cleaning woman or orderly

They all knew her name; she knew all their names

She hasn't been there that long

Has met them in bingo or the movies or in the halls

When she rolls herself to see the birdcage in the lobby

"You're in rehab" I say "Not on vacation"

~ ~

And yet

I can't deny the feeling

You know that feeling you get when you walk into a bookstore or library

Or walk into a fully stocked art store

It's the anticipation of knowledge, of discovery, of opening doors

I sound like a geek don't I

Instead of feeling overwhelmed by emotions in that therapy room

I felt the thrill of discovery

I studied each person

Their faces, their 'vibe'

I could 'see' who had given up and who had fight

I was intrigued by those who seemed to have reverted back to childhood

Using loud whimpering to get a therapist's attention

That would stop the minute they received it

Those who started an exercise counting "1,2,3..." and stop the minute the therapist turned their back

And begin the whimpering

And start back at "9,10" when the therapist returned

It was amusing

It was like being in a child's daycare center

There were those I fell in love with immediately

And those who seemed like older versions of the snakes in society

Funny, those were the whimperers

And as I quietly observed my Mama stated

"We're like kids again"

"We don't see color or status or possessions"

"That's why we all get along...we just want to heal and play"

As she told me about the planned Bingo game later

I drove home with a smirk

Reiki had taught me how to protect myself from being such a sponge

So that I could observe and learn

Is it bad that I'm seeing this whole situation as a learning opportunity?

I don't want it to sound like I don't care that my Mama fell

But I feel as if I learned some lessons recently that are now being put to the test

Like teaching your kid to drive in an empty parking lot

Then saying, "ok, let's try you out on the side street'

I'm on the side street