I can see clearly now....

Being raised Catholic I always remember that we have free will. Reading about Angels I understand they are our guardians ready to help when asked. But I wonder what happens when the person they are protecting insists on following the path blindly. What if that person is oblivious to the many many little signs they're given?

I understand now that many of the choices I made as a kid were not coincidental. If specific events had not happened that ulimately affected my outlook, I can see that my life would have been different. Not very good actually. Luckily I was aware of my surroundings and chose wisely.

I understand now that it is very difficult to hear or see these little signs if my perception isn't clear. Alcohol impaired my judgement in my early 20s. Fertility drugs impaired my judgement soon after and was followed by that depression which only led to more medical drugs which really impaired my judgement. I thought medicines were bad enough but when you add the power of negative thought---WHEW! there is no room for little signs. I'm sure God had to send armies of angels to try to break through. But no, He sent me one little one. I was in major detox mode while pregnant - both physically and emotionally. But worry soon took over and still didn't see or listen.

Soon after my dad died in 2003 everything changed. I was more aware of my surroundings. It was as if I was sucker-punched right out of my existence into a parallel reality. I still went through life motions but realized there was more. For some reason I ended up with a newsletter from The Center in Palos. The article hit me like a ton of bricks and I cut out a section and it has been on my walls ever since. I don't know who wrote it so can't give credit where it's due. This inspired changes - I eventually got divorced, learned to ride the motorcycle, stood up for myself more, I started living my life. But I was still stubborn and didn't actually join The Center until 2008. Because of it, or specifically Lois and April, a whole other world has been opened. Thank you so very much to all of you who post to my blog - you are like my earth-bound angels and I can see and hear much better now. I may slip occasionally but I'm not walking on the sidelines anymore.

FROM THE CENTER'S NEWSLETTER

"...It is not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."
..."Life is an experience worth living to its fullest. Every single day is a gift from God. It's easy for all of us to sometimes sit on the sidelines and watch it go by...but don't sit there too long wishing, contemplating, or being so careful. Get out there! There is a song by the Oak Ridge Boys that says an eagle has to jump from its nest and fall before it ever learns how to fly! Put action, spirit, passion, and enthusiasm into your daily living."
..."Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming - WOW! WHAT A RIDE!"