I was on the phone with my ex-husband
Telling him that our son won't speak to me and wants to move in with him
Telling him that my Mama says she's moving back home this weekend
(even though she can't quite walk yet)
Then I laughed and said "Is it me? Am I that hard to live with?"
Silence
Cricket-silence
Then I laughed and said "Oh man, that's way mean!"
He laughed as he said "No, no, you're not hard to live with at all"
Atleast he was nice enough to sugar coat it.
~ ~ ~
I was telling my Mama this morning
How in three months she has subjected me to life cycles
she went from near death
to infant stage where she had to be fed, lifted, cleaned
the soft food eating, potty training toddler stage
and now that the cast came off last week we're at the learning to walk stage
yep, I cheered at the first steps with a walker
and this past weekend she moved into defiant teenage stage
but still stuck in some toddler-dom
I told her I can only handle one moody teenager
And she's not allowed to go home until she is walking and potty trained
She said she's taking her walker, walking down the road yelling for help
Hee hee
The way I look at it
I'll soon be walking down the middle of the road begging for help
Or I'll get pissed enough that I'll pack the kid's bags and drop them off
Because his timing sure sucks
~ ~ ~
By the way
thanks for the really cool comments to my cartoon
Hugs
Hi Elena, You have been on an incredible journey recently. The difficulty is, and I say this from experience, that we think all problems need to be solved now, instead of them being a process. Your Mama has required a lot of your ongoing attention because the healing process takes time. Your son, whilst he is being hurtful, is also in a process, as are you. In the great shape of things, time sorts it all out in the end. All we can do is our best during the process and recognize that others have their process too!
ReplyDeleteah the teenager (child and parent) - sometimes i think - kids leave me alone to have my own peaceful midlife crisis - then i get a phone call from my dad - who tells me in hushed tones that if he dies i must have the pathologist look into poisoning - because my mom is busy doing him in. reading your post just made me laugh - well, what else can we really do!
ReplyDeleteElena, I think we are so accustomed to having life defined by very specific cycles that happen at *certain ages* or *certain times* that it is hard to deal with them when they all hit at once! (which is how real life is, and damn Leave It To Beaver and those other shows that portrayed families smoothly transitioning through all the bumps.....)
ReplyDeleteYour mama and son both are looking for independence; one for the first time, one trying to regain it before it is lost for good. I really, REALLY don't think it is you as much as their own life cycles right now. Especially mama, because she has been on the edge of the veil, and I am sure she wants that one last round of real freedom, even if she is just perceiving it that way.....
Just go with the flow, take the kid to the ex and put a lead on mama's walker, so she can only get soooooo far!
XXOO~~
Anne
Like that old 60s poster of the kitten dangling from the tree branch said -- "Hang in there, baby!"
ReplyDeleteGimme that kid's cell phone # so I can text him how lucky he is to have such an uber awesome mama. Now.... to learn how to text... And your mama? Perhaps independence and stubbornness runs in the family? Ahem... er... did I say that out loud? Hee hee. And that ex of yours? Did you slap him through the phone? What a brat! ;)
ReplyDeleteSorry you're still in this transition phase with both of them. Change is hard. Decisions are hard. With all of it coming to a head at the same time, well that's just downright difficult. Do you think perhaps the two have something to do with each other? Has Grandma's stay been difficult for your son? Does your mom feel bad or uncomfortable staying with you while your son is struggling? Perhaps a family meeting? Oh I know. That sounded like a cooky nerdy person speaking. Perhaps you could call it a meeting of the minds. Everyone get together and share their how they're feeling and what they're going through from their perspective. Including you. Each state how you feel, what you love, what you need, what's not so fun. How you can help each other.
Yada yada yada. I think I'm rambling. Better get off this train.
What I mean to say is, love ya, thinkin' of ya, here if you need me.
oh, family dynamics can play havoc with every nerve and cell that resides inside of us....been there, done that....well actually still there myself. i don't think it's you. it's never us. it's always them :)
ReplyDelete