Yearning

HuGe ThAnKs!!

For all the cool comments, emails, calls to my vanity post

You're right

Not sure why I'm holding onto a closet full of stuff

Kinda like trying to hold onto a misty past

And perhaps my current choice in clothes

is a mere stepping stone to what I'm becoming

Because what it really comes down to

is that I never really liked those closet clothes anyway

I felt stuffy, uncomfortable, like I was playing make-believe

And with a grin I remembered the clothes that used to make me happy

The black and white checkered skirt worn with combat boots

The black shorts worn with eyelet hook boots and black elbow gloves

The motorcycle jacket and harley boots

The tunic top over paisley print tights and suede boots

Get the picture

I never conformed before....I used to march to my own beat

(or I really love boots)

But the sense of loss stayed in my heart today

And I fell upon a very old habit

one I haven't done since I was in my 20s

I listened to old spanish songs

Vicente Fernandez, Alejandro and others like them

watched the videos and felt a pang

The type of songs played loudly in bars with a bottle of tequila

Well unless I'm taking my Mama and the kid with me

there will be no bars or tequila

Instead I watched the videos

saw passion in the singers faces

saw the horses feel the music's passion as they danced along

 ('prance' doesn't do it justice)

and I felt a yearning

the type of yearning I always feel when I see mariachis and horses

a yearning for something

Something unknown, unnamed at this time, perhaps not in this lifetime

And therein lies the sadness I feel

It's not for the stupid clothes

It's a sense of loss

But tomorrow is another day

And another shot at finding my 'something'

Thanks again!

Y'all rock

Getting tired of hearing that?