A peek at clarity....

I find it interesting that at the moments when my mind is most muddled, I'll open a book to just the perfect sentence. I like to think of these as little messages sent by my Divine guides. A little kick in the bootay.

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Without passion, all the skill in the world won't lift you above craft. Without skill, all the passion in the world will leave you eager but floundering. Combining the two is the essence of the creative life. From The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp                                           

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AHA! So that's why you all tell me to keep creating. Doesn't matter what...just keep doing it. I squash my passion because of a lack of confidence. If I develop the skills through practice perhaps it will build the confidence I need to allow myself to be passionate. Whew!

And with that, I can respond to Suz' comment to my Elena the Biker post. I sound happy when I talk about riding because I am passionate about it. I gave myself permission to call myself a biker when I pulled myself out of some dangerous situations. Times when my head tried to convince me it would be easier to lay the bike down. I couldn't convince myself that I lacked skills when I knew full well that I survived because of how I handled the bike. Period. And so, skill and passion joined to create the rambling bubbly biker that drives her fellow bikers nuts by singing at the top of her lungs at stop lights. Hee hee! 
 

So why is it that I'm so lost everywhere else? I suppose because I haven't developed the creative skills and lack creative passion. In some cases, I haven't identified what I want [to be when I grow up-again] and it makes it difficult to develop skills and passion for an unknown.

At the very least, I owe it to myself to develop my creative skills. The rare moments of creativity make me happy. Will I reach the marriage of creative skill and passion? Who knows. But I do know that I've been working really hard to ignore it and I've become stagnant. I won't allow myself to feel anything for fear of feeling too much and having ideas flopping around in my head. I suppose it's time to look & listen...

Besides, Stevie really misses me.