Hibiscus Wisdom

My hibiscus plant flowered throughout the winter and spring under the shelter of the enclosed sun room. Then one day it seemed a little sad. The leaves looking a bit off and the flowers a bit smaller and pale. Then all the leaves fell off and I thought of throwing it away. My Mama said it was stressed and it was time to replant it, nourish it and sit it on the deck where it would grow strong in the cool spring air. It flourished; soon covered with lush leaves and flowers that extended their petals wide to greet the new day. Chatting with the butterflies and hummingbirds that came for a visit. At night they closed in deep slumber, only to begin the cycle again.

I watched it grow big and tall. Worried when the rains pelted the soft petals. Surprised to find the flowers intact and looking stronger after each storm. How could it be that they weren't damaged?

 ~ ~ ~

I can relate to the hibiscus. I'm sure I entered this life ready to flourish until something happened that caused my leaves to fall and my flowers to fade. It doesn't matter what caused it since I am now strengthened and filling with lush leaves and a few blooms. But it seems that in opening up to the full beauty you are capable of, you also run the risk of exposure.

I made the mistake of reading something I thought I was ready for. Something on animal abuse. And I felt like I was sucker-punched. I haven't cried so much in a long time. Yeah, yeah I'm a baby. But I cannot understand that type of cruelty. And I thought it used to affect me. But never like this. I feel sick. Truly. Maybe I'm coming down with something. My chest hurts. But really....why? And perhaps there isn't an answer. Just pure evil. And it makes me feel helpless. I want to help. But how? Become a billionaire and save the animals? Doubt it.

So I called my sister who said to think of the few animals we save from the shelters. I said yes, but what about the others that are still in the hands of the evil? And I started the sniveling all over again. I feel dirty. (Ha! That sounds hilarious.) But I feel like my soul has been touched by something hideous and I can't get it out.

Maybe this is what the healers meant when they said
I need to learn how to protect myself.

Too late.

Perhaps I should go ask the hibiscus how it protects itself from the pelting rains....
Perhaps I need to close in slumber
and find healing there. And tomorrow my petals will open wide to greet the new day.