I DO....again

I never wanted to get married when I was growing up. Funny how things work out and I'm on husband number 2 now. I was married for 14 years the first time and never thought I'd get divorced. We were supposed to grow old together.

But as time passed we didn't like each other anymore. He hated that I was always sick with something and I hated that he had become egotistical and condescending. When I saw my son trying to decide whose side to be on, I decided this was an unhealthy situation and I had to act. After much heartache I eventually decided to get divorced.

I can finally look back without breaking down and analyze my situation. He always hated that I was too independent. He said I acted like I didn't need him and once told me he wasn't my brother (who I really look up to). So I find it very interesting that I married someone 12 years my senior (and like my brother) and he married someone 15 years his junior. I am happy to say my son now has a half brother. I'm hardly ever sick anymore. I don't know if he's still egotistical; but I don't mind if he is.

This started me thinking. Perhaps not everyone is meant to stay married to the same person. What if we're paired up to a person to fulfill a current lesson at that particular point in the journey. Because hubby #1 was so immature I was forced to take a lead role. I learned to take care of him, my son and my job. He learned that there are consequences to the choices in life. Perhaps once those lessons were learned we had to move on. I can't imagine being where I am right now if I were still there. It just wouldn't be possible.

Which leads me to another point. I've noticed that many artists have an extremely supportive significant other. This person provides emotional, creative, and physical support as needed. They load the vans, they buy the supplies, they listen to the ideas, etc. etc.. It was more than fate that hubby #2 and I met. He is independent and doesn't need me to take care of him. My lesson at this particular point in the journey is to create myself. And this is much harder than anything I've had to do. But I have a supportive partner who is there to set me back on my feet, or drag me kicking, as needed. He gives me the space I need but is there when I need a hug. I'm thankful that he popped into my journey when he did. I've grown quite a bit because of him. I suppose this marriage thing isn't so bad after all...