Hmmm....how do I begin? Why didn't you tribal elders warn me about....that feeling. Ok, let me explain. As you know, I'm having trouble just buckling down and creating something. The pictures in my head are becoming more frequent and the creative 'itch' is there but I just wander in and out of the studio daydreaming instead of doing.
During one of these studio visits yesterday I again felt the urge to paint and again heard myself say, "nope, you can't do it". I started walking out and suddenly turned back, tossed a paint cloth on the floor, turned on Gypsy Kings, dumped out all my paints and started mixing and painting. I was like a woman obsessed. I couldn't stop if I wanted. I wasn't even using one of my brushes, my hand fell on a kid's brush whose hairs kept falling out, I grabbed plastic pallette knives, at one point there were beads stuck on the painting...
Now here's that feeling I mentioned....shhhh this is embarrassing. It felt like that feeling you get when you're with that special person and you've been flirting all night and when you're finally alone you can't wait to be together. Adrenaline? Lust?? Oh gosh! Tell me I don't have the hots for my canvas!!! Perhaps my hormone patch fell off again?
I eventually stopped when my head caught up with the insanity of my actions. My ego had been shocked into silence but soon recovered to bring me to a screeching halt. Once my heartbeat slowed to its normal rhythm, I realized then that I encountered the lack of experience roadblock. I don't know how to create the techniques that are so clear in my head. This picture wasn't even in my head...don't know where it came from.
It was then that I caught the look on Jazz' face. She looked worried. After I assured her that her mommy wasn' t going mad, I decided I need to enroll in some painting class to learn techniques. But in the interim, please lie to me and tell me that that feeling of possession IS TOTALLY NORMAL.
For Jazz' sake
Here's the in-progress result of my temporary madness. Not sure what to do with it. I'll probably leave it in place should I experience the possession again.
Oh Elena! This is such an exciting painting to go along with your emotions! And look at Jazz! He says "Mom flipped!" "Is she okay?" Yes Jazz, she's okay. There are just wonderful things wanting to come out and now it's time! You were ready at that moment and I'm glad something inside stopped you and sent you back into that room in a whirl. Yes, that is the feeling you get - because these pieces of art are like your children. It IS an emotional experience. Especially when you get the chance and the right time to just dive in like that (which is something I don't have much of this summer, it seems). You just keep right on! Can't wait until that happens to me again. Thanks for the memories...
ReplyDeleteHehehe. Yes that is normal. Why do you think I paint? Because it feels good! What you experienced is called 'the zone'. Sometimes I have to force myself to start but before too long I'm in 'the zone' and am annoyed when the day is over and I have to cook dinner or some other mundane action. You will gain experience with practice. Practice, practice, practice! You will learn to know your materials and what they will do. Read books, try out techniques and experiement. Everything you create doesn't have to be a work of art. Its all about playing around until you get something you are happy with and above all ... don't give up! Love the composition, love the colour combination and love the textures. Well done! Woohoo! I'm so excited for you.
ReplyDeleteAs I gaze at that painting you created, I see freedom and joy and inner child coming out and who cares wild woman and who needs a man I have my art well maybe I won't go that far.
ReplyDeleteBut Uta says some good things here. That thing called play that was so elusive in my life for so long and now it has taken my hand and I have dived into my heart and soul. So have you, Elena, I see dreams here, floating flowers that are not earthbound, tangled up in life objects.
By the way, is this acrylic, oils, watercolor or a little of everything? Or don't you remember, cuz you were in THE ZONE. Time to celebrate....
So fun to watch your creative process.
You are a tribal sister dancing the war dance. Nah, not war dance, the birthing of Elena dance!
P.S.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the sweet little plug about my shop on your right hand column here. I am touched and honored. By the way, let me know when you want to open an Etsy shop. I would love your company and will show you the ropes. In fact, I could see that flower painting you just created on the featured page of your shop. Yep, I can.....
Oh So exciting!!! I'm witnessing another fellow artist enjoying the process.... How cool is that, Your in honey, you have just painted through, your one of us...Sound tribal for sure, or gang like but I do mean this in a way that I've only experienced. You can read and you can experiment and you can take classes but the best way is you walking through it yourself, you're making the personal discoveries. What a gift and yes as our peers here have already addressed to you this is normal and I don't what to scare you but it happens often to us all. Own it, love it and create with it. One thing that I read in the book Play that connected so well to me is- When you engage in an act, read, writing, climbing a wall, going for a motorcycle ride, paint a picture if when you finished you are some how effect by an attitude adjustment and you prespective has changed then you can concider yourself As a human being that has just played!! how does that sound to you? Ok my ramblings are done.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Being in the zone is so interesting. Everything outside the zone is not relevant at the time. Time moves differently. Now that you know it won't cause you any harm, you can let it happen again, and again. If you are worried about technique, don't let that stop you. You can always pick that up through practice, books, online, and classes. The most important thing is practice. I love the colors and the composition in your painting. Again, congratulations and welcome to the zone.
ReplyDeleteHA!!! I love you guys!
ReplyDeleteI never get enough of the zone and schedule it into my week with life drawing. At home there is a fear of falling deeply into the zone and not keeping my schedule on track. It is a gift that many are incapable of understanding. My ex was extremely jealous of the zone and did everything he could to prevent my going there.
ReplyDelete