Uncensored: Religion

I thought about not posting. Then chastised myself for even considering it. Since when do I filter my thoughts? Since when is religion taboo? It's not like I'm out to convert anyone; hell I wouldn't know what I'd be trying to convert you to anyway. Ha! It's all in the quest for knowledge...I'm interested in your thoughts.

What's right or wrong is a matter of perception, isn't it? The belief system you are raised with perhaps? I may not understand Jehova Witness' teachings (my brother), and have a feeling there is more to my own Catholicism that I've yet to uncover, and am intrigued by the dozens of religions out there. But one thing I'm not ashamed to admit to is that, just like with everything else, I can't be pigeon-holed into one belief. I think in their basic forms, they are all right. My belief. (It's my quest after all)

But having been raised Catholic, I still have that inborn fear that hides in the shadows of my mind that says I will be punished for questioning. I will be punished for believing in other things. In other words, I'll burn in hell forever being poked at by devils with pitchforks. And yet, I have to follow what feels right. I stopped attending mass when I was frustrated that my mouth was reciting prayers and songs by heart without my realizing I was half way through the service. I didn't feel anything. I was a zombie in a pew. A year later I went back and it was like nothing had changed.

I walk through the woods, or even my garden and my heart soars. I find myself thanking God for giving me a chance to live. I talk to Him (nonstop) about my desire for others to feel the same. I feel. It feels right.

And yet, I ran across something today that made me stop. Something that referred to New Age beliefs as the work of the devil. How the belief in angels and spirit guides are just a guise to entrap you. How believing that God is part of us all is another deceit. Don't get me started on healing, invoking light for protection, stones or whatever. Let me just say that a quarter of the way through the document I felt like I wanted to crawl back to church to beg the priest to hide me in the confessional.

And yes, I believe in guides and angels. When I was working and still believing God was vengeful, I used to think of Him as a CEO. He was busy and because He loved us He wanted to make sure He was still approachable. So He created angels and guides as middle managers. We went to them to intercede for us. If it was major, then it called for a conversation with God directly. (See what happens when you work too much?) I don't believe that anymore. I think they're all around....out of love.

But add this to something my Mama mentioned. About feeling like someone was lying behind her in bed; even feeling a heartbeat at her shoulder blade...well it leaves me wondering what's real or not.

So please don't be shy...I really want to know your thoughts. And if you wish to remain anonymous just email me.

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The family and I were watching a comedy show the other day where they were playing a Murder Mystery game; a classic Whodunit. A woman picked out a card and said she didn't want to be that character because it scared her. She was "Voodoo Mama Juju". 

My son's eyes widened and he and hubby laughed as they pointed at me 

"You're Voodoo Mama Juju!"