Let's Have Tea

I've always liked those lines in a book that start with someone grabbing a cup of tea and sitting with family or friends to discuss something important. Seems like the tea leads to a heartwarming moment. (Huh, and I swear I'm not sappy) I don't drink tea...or coffee, so I figured this type of heartwarming moment would always be beyond my reach. But I experienced my own tea moments yesterday:

I went to drawing class and had to leave within the hour. My head just wouldn't cooperate. I've been squishing down all these emotions and the more I tried to draw it was like opening a corner of a box and all these things were trying to come out. I ran, with my tail between my legs....but not far enough until April caught me and told me to walk the nature trail. Lump in throat and blinking back angry tears, I headed out on the trail. Halfway through I stopped and just smelled the earth. It was that spring soil smell and the sun was filtering through the bare branches. I actually heard a leaf fall. Yep, saw it flutter and make a little crunchy sound as it joined his brothers. Later something jumped behind a tree so I'm guessing I scared a deer. And let me tell you that whatever has been harrassing my head stayed at the entrance to the nature trail. I was at peace and walked until I found myself at the parking lot. I realized I'm not afraid of death; I'm afraid of leaving my son too soon. That's it. So thanks, April, for much needed shoving.

Then I decided to call my mom and tell her what was happening; of course after assuring her that everything was fine. She told me it was actually common in my family, near and distant, to have these lumps caused by the underwire bras. I told her that had run through my mind since the location of lump and end of wire was too coincidental. I felt much much better; I had received mom support even though I had tried to avoid telling her so she wouldn't worry. Thanks Mama, I didn't realize I needed you in this.

My son and I were on our own for dinner. So he made me dinner. My little 11 year old went out to the grill and made me a steak. We had steak, veggies and mashed potatoes. I was so enormously proud. Remember, I don't cook (hardly) so the steak would have been beyond my abilities.

Later when hubby came home he prepared a bath for me in the whirlpool tub so the pain would go away. This was a first...and the first time I've used that tub since moving in. It worked, the pain went away for the evening and I knocked out.

So I felt like someone had given me a cup of tea and discussed my concerns. I'm much better now. I'd be great if I could just get scheduled for that darned test. Would you believe the hold up is that the woman is out ill? Never knew hospital activities shut down with the absence of ONE person. Hmmmm....

By the way, thanks again for listening to me through this. It helps knowing people don't hide....