The Old Goat

Although I don't see them very often, my family and I are close. We don't share deep dark secrets but we love each other. Once in a while I'll get frustrated with the secret-keeping and I'll lash out with a barrage of truths which leave them scratching their heads. I don't have close friends so I don't know how to confide in others. But this blog has been cheap therapy; I come here and dump whatever is in my head to make room for more (aren't you all lucky).

When problems come up I usually hide out and work through them by myself. We all do it in the family. We usually know something is up because suddenly someone is hiding. It's how I handled my divorce. Probably not a good thing because by the time I told the family I had already purchased a condo and moved out. The news hit them like a steam roller. I tried things differently this time and wrote here about my medical concern and you all provided support that encouraged me to tell my family. And all this BEFORE I even go to the doc!

The other part is the hubby. He is unlike anything I've ever dealt with. Where my first hubby would rather not know or discuss, this one sits me down and makes me talk. Hot lights and torture. I know it surprises him how angry I get that he makes me open up. Jeez, can't I just blog him or something? But a small embarrassed part of me likes it. I've never had someone fight for me and it's kinda cool. I mean growing up I felt so invisible and now someone sees me. Yikes.

Well, the referral the doc sent was missing some information so I called his assistant yesterday. She sounded so pissed; like I'd insulted her for asking for a revised referral. I told her exactly what it should include. I asked hubby to pick it up today and he opened it to review it before leaving. Apparently it was missing some key info which he pointed out. Now I know him. He's scary looking and when he's mad his voice is deep and booming. The girl made a mistake of saying well the doc is busy....He refused to leave without it, told them a few things about incompetency, etc. etc. He had the revised referral in a few minutes. I usually have to fight my own battles. I'm not used to this. But it's kinda cool. I feel like a diva with a body guard.

When I mentioned once regretting getting married to someone older was because I'm so afraid of losing him. I finally found someone who actually loves and cares about me. I don't know why he does but he does. And everyday I fight the fear that the cosmos will realize they made a mistake, see that I'm happy, and will take him back.

You should see how he gets when someone rides too close to my bike......

My old goat

I'm not being mean - in Chinese astrology

our birthdays fall under the sign of the goat

So he's the old goat and I'm the young goat

(He's more like Billy Goat Gruff)