Looking closely...

No artwork today.

No creative outlets.

Ego kicked my bootay pretty good yesterday so I'm still licking my wounds. I'm walking around like a dog with its tail between his legs. Actually I think I'm coming down with a doozie of a cold; I can feel it.

But as I gathered more twigs in the yard I started wondering why I can't just 'do it' as so many of you recommend. Perhaps because the moment I start I either find myself in a wonderful zone where nothing can penetrate or I get slammed with a barrage of negative self-talk that sends me reeling backwards. It makes me angry when I realize that this just wastes more time. But then it occurred to me that my thought processes have changed. During my stint as a PM I had to train my brain to think in big pictures; foresee any future problems that could be prevented now, juggle many balls...everything, every detail, was preplanned. I was good at it. Hell, I did a great job at it. There was no room for dreaming, living, or being, as someone once told me, "fluffy artsy fartsy". It was about budgets, deadlines, never-ending meetings.

Now, I'm telling my poor brain, stop focusing on the future, slow down and be here. And I can't. It's so slow, so quiet, so....But then it occurred to me that this new found love for my camera may be the way of retraining my brain. I can't just 'do it' until I can recapture what I lost. It's evident in the pictures I've been taking. Old photos contain far off landscapes, overall panoramas, like I had trained myself to view my projects. Now, those landscapes are getting closer and I'm forced to look at the details; to really see what I've taken for granted. And not just in my pictures, but also in how I'm looking at myself. I feel as if I'm another person, some stranger in my body. It's all so confusing. Sometimes I just want to stop all this nonsense and just high tail it back to an office; drown myself in the future-planning and ignore myself.

Sometimes zooming into things (or myself) can be exciting and at others it can be downright scary. 

Story Inn, Story, Indiana

Purportedly haunted by the Blue Lady

I zoomed into the photo of a bedroom window

Can you make out a figure spanning the area between curtains and the right side?

It's all about perception - isn't it...