Comfy Couch

When I first started project management I started feeling a bit overwhelmed. As if I couldn't keep a handle on the thousand (and one) details required on each of the renovation projects. The job offered a counseling service so I swallowed my pride and decided to go check it out. I figured I just needed some time management skills.

I wasn't prepared to hear the "tell me about your childhood" crap. What? What does that have to do with installing the sprinkler system! I don't have time for this...fix me NOW! She insisted and I quickly realized she wasn't going to give me those time management tips unless I gave her what she wanted. So I gave her ten minutes of childhood memories. She started crying. I shut up. I felt sorry for her. I walked out of there rather quickly vowing not to return. In that little walk back to the office I realized I didn't need time management skills. I just needed to realize perfectionism had no place in project management.

Years later after my divorce and having my little hissy fit and quitting the job, I returned to another professional thinking hoping they'd give me tips on how to brush it off, stand tall, 'I am woman hear me roar' type of stuff. Instead she sat me down and asked what was on my mind. I told her a bit. She listened. I thought ok, this is rather... ok. Then she slipped it in..."tell me about your childhood". What the....?! Wow, she's good, slipping it in like that. I thought, damn, ok I'll say something so we could move on. She became angry. Saying it was my Mama's job to protect me. I lashed back saying not to talk about my Mama and left. Haa haa!

Can you tell where I don't belong? Professionals are good people to consult. They don't have all the answers. Each of us needs to search and find the tidbits that make sense. It's rather like an archeological dig sometimes. You scratch a little bit here, brush off a bit there, setting aside seemingly insignificant shards until one day you realize all those little shards add up to one great discovery. Nowadays I stay away from people who sit across from me on a comfy chair. I read and ask regular people (like y'all) questions. I listen and apply and search and read and ask and scratch, dig, and dust. Little tidbits that lead me in new directions or make me look at things in a new light. It's been working for me. But like everything what works for me may not work for another. The key is to keep searching and discovering.

I recently read that in order to realize growth you often need to revisit old wounds (often in childhood) in order to put them to rest. I thought 'oh shit, not again'. I tossed the book aside. And yet, a tiny little voice said not to be so quick to turn my back on the advice. I argued that it was fruitless considering there were quite a few years locked away in a huge mental block even I couldn't open. Nor do I want to. Past is past. Rehashing it isn't going to change it so why bother. And yet....I'm curious....

Do you think there's any value in revisiting old wounds?