In search of Christmas

Ok so will I scare y'all away if I say that I woke up yesterday with orders to do the giveaway? It was in that twilight sleep mode, where you're still sleeping but slowly the brain is starting to regain consciousness. Lately it seems to be the moment where I receive my marching orders; assuming I remember them.

So this morning I received another order. I groggily walked to the computer and typed as I waited for the dogs to come back in. I finished typing and laid back down so that I could come fully awake. Here's the message I submitted for publishing in the local paper. I sure hope I didn't sign it; I'll have to hear my son whine about how much I'm embarrasing him!

Where is Christmas? Lost in the shopping lists? The extra hours at work in the hopes of a bit more cash. Is it lost in the worrying about how you’re going to pay the bills, or what you’re going to eat, or where you’ll live? If you strip it all away you’ll find Christmas is still there. It’s behind that extra smile from the person holding the door open for you, the teenager packing boxes at the food pantry, or the child putting money in the Salvation Army bucket. It’s there. It’s not store bought or even hand made. It’s an act of love, or kindness, towards others. If like Scrooge you were given a second chance, what would you do differently today? Politically correct or not. Merry Christmas to you all.


Now if I were fully awake I wouldn't have done that. Haa! Haa!

Inspired by the dear Queen of Arts, I grabbed a handful of candy canes and set out on errands. I watched the bored looking young girl ringing up bird seed and almost changed my mind. At the last minute I said 'here, Merry Christmas' as I handed her a candy cane. She wouldn't make eye contact, giving me that sidelong glance as she hesitated and grabbed it like I had handed her a hot coal. She muttered thanks and as I walked out I thought how much she reminded me of a distrustful stray. Sad. But funny in a way. She was too young to be that gloomy.

Errand to errand I did the same thing. People seemed surprised to hear Merry Christmas. The older people seemed happy while the young ones eyed me suspiciously. Hee hee! Sad and funny again. I didn't find Christmas on this run. But I did have another flashback.

When I was small (ok I was probably already in 7th grade) I used to lay on my back with my head under the Christmas tree. I would position myself so that I could look up into the tree branches and squint my eyes so that the lights would look like stars. Before you think there is something seriously loose in my head I have to explain (hee hee). I grew up in the city. I was lucky if I saw three stars. Laying under that tree gave me the opportunity to pretend I was laying under millions of stars. And I would sing. Christmas songs. I could lay there squinting and singing (haa haa ok maybe there is a screw loose). My poor Mama. She probably thought there was something wrong with me.

Wait. She still does.