Death?

My cousin's husband passed away Friday. I didn't know him well but I hear he was a nice guy. He had a heart attack so it was unexpected. It made me wonder about this thing called Death. I wonder if a person has a feeling he's going to die. Like a little antsy, naggy feeling of something coming up. Does a person wake up and go business as usual? Or does the person wake up feeling he should do something better or have fun that day. Makes sense then that people should live each day to its fullest. Would hate to think I'd wasted my last day worrying about something stupid.

I wonder if I'd want to know the morning of my last day that it would be my last. What would I do? I'd probably say goodbye to everyone and assure them that I loved them so the shock wouldn't be too much when I left. I'd probably go horseback riding because there wouldn't be anything for me to worry about then. I'd probably race the horse along the shore somewhere. Or go as fast as my moto would allow.

I wonder if you just die. I no longer believe you do. I believe my body is just a protective coating for something more precious, more fragile deep inside. Like an egg or a pineapple or walnut that holds the true prize on the inside. So when a person's body dies, does that crack the protective coating? Does this release the prize inside? Is this what some call the soul? What happens to the soul? I suppose I'd be amazed at this release and look back fondly at my body and thank it for its protection. I suppose at that moment I wouldn't care that I was plump or hippy or too short. I wonder if my soul-self would then hang around for a while to see what was going on with those who I shared a life with.

Hmmm, way too many questions. Not morbid at all, just curious as usual. But it makes me realize I should probably live each day better and maybe make a bucket list.