I want to be normal.
I just want to go to work and come home.
Complain about the coworkers or how the bills will be paid.
I want to watch the news and curse at current events.
I want to call a girlfriend and complain about my husband.
I want to follow fashion trends.
I want to be girly and catty.
I want to go to bed and begin the routine all over again.
And not question it.
I want the mindless existence.
I want the mindless existence.
I don't want to think about spiritual realms.
I don't want to think in pictures.
I don't want to crave anything artistic.
I don't want to crave knowing more.
I don't want to notice nature.
I don't want to care about animals.
I don't want to crave justice, fairness, humanity.
I want my mind to be still.
I just want to be like everyone else.
Hello...........! You are normal.
ReplyDeleteWe all have those days.
When I get a bummer like that..I don't fight it..I just let myself be miserable for a day and it passes..it always does. I think because I let myself feel. Just like you are...you are doing fine...you'll see..it's easy..tomorrow..Begin again
Hi Elena,
ReplyDeleteNo you do not want to be like anyone else. You are unique and tapping into that uniqueness more and more. "Normal" is just a word, an ego word. Feel with your heart, it knows the direction you'll go.
By the way, very intriguing picture you posted here. Tell me more and its significance to your post (words) because I know there is a connection.
Your honest sharing makes you special.
Yes, it would be sooooo easy to just be like everyone else!! But you were given a gift and it seems like it is going thru a very painful birthing process. It wants to grow and thrive and if you ignore it and don't nurture it, it will shrivel and die. And in the process your soul will die. At least that's how I feel about this creative struggle that's always going on inside me!! I spent many years neglecting it and eventually, I remember saying to a friend, "My soul is sick". It's a struggle and it's hard and it's painful, but it's worth it!!!
ReplyDeleteJust like giving birth to a child is worth it, right????
A gift? Perhaps. But oh what I wouldn't give to just be. People look at me like I'm nuts or ask me why I just can't accept what I have. Hell I would if I could. I don't understand this damned desire inside me for who knows what.
ReplyDeleteBev, I took the picture in Hawaii on my 40th. I was awed. Amongst all the beauty was a lone bare field. And this little twister danced around soundlessly. Nobody paid attention to it as they drove past. It was mesmerizing to watch it dance back and forth; becoming wider and narrower, moving all around. It's how I feel. Twisty, restless, invisible in a world of beauty.
Hmmm... I notice twister all the time in autumn.
ReplyDeleteThey grab up a piece of dried corn stalk and whip it around. Fortunately with the wet summer I've not seen any little dust storms dancing through the fields.