Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I pulled together the resume and references. Took a shower and squeezed into the suit. From their reactions, seems that my clan has become used to seeing me in casual attire. Jazz' ears flattened back and she ran up the stairs where she could look down at me from a safe distance. My son said I looked stern. Hubby said 'wow, you look good' - ummm, does that mean I usually look like crap? I looked like the rest of corporate america - except, I wore my Harley boots. I can't be a complete sell out. And I don't like heels.

I had on too many layers of clothes and felt like a tube of toothpaste; slim, tight and ready to pop. I felt like I was playing grown up. The uniform signalling the brain to buckle down, we're going to be a big girl today. I prayed that I wouldn't say I left my last job "because I couldn't stand working for those pricks".

I sat in the middle chair facing the four interviewers. Their first question was "You are highly qualified, are used to making alot of money, this is a step down for you, it's part time, why would you want this position?" And without hesitation my response was "I know all of that but my commitment has changed. I have discovered an artistic side which I am nurturing and that is my focus now. This position will only be a supplement to my main focus." Where the hell did that come from? And when they asked what my former boss would say when they called him, my response "He'll say I'm good at what I do, I'm organized, in control, etc etc." And I laughed and told them ..."did I mention conceited." Boy, who am I?

And so it went. I calmly answered all their questions. At the end one manager wanted to know more about the new focus that has taken my life in a different direction. Wanted to know if I was pursuing formal schooling. I said I discovered a group of artists who are my teachers and friends and encourage exploration. I said I didn't know where it would lead but I had to find out-atleast for now. And as I rattled on, a little part of me looked on with mouth wide open. What was I saying? Who was that person talking like an artist? Listening to that person you wouldn't know I fight against this thought back home.

Afterwards I had lunch with hubby and discussed what had happened. By then my ego had snapped out of its shock and reared its ugly head. It ranted that I was demeaning myself by taking a step down. I stopped midsentence and told hubby "holy crap - I'm a snob!" I sounded like Tama always saying she went to Harvard. Ugghhh! I then thought carefully. No, my ego was being a snob. I am not driven by that same desire to excel in management anymore. When the hell did that happen? Surely somewhere along this blog journey. It's exciting and scary. Apparently there's a different drive. Not sure what it is yet. But that's ok.

The only problem with the job is that part time is 28-30 hours. And would you believe I don't want to commit more than 20? Makes no sense. And I've come up with a plan. If they do call to make an offer, I'm going to ask if they'd agree to 20 hours. If not, then I'm not interested. If they don't make an offer; no problem. I learned alot about myself today. I'm seeing changes. It was well worth the interview.

So I put away the monkey suit and donned my usual attire.
And sat back to enjoy this new person I'm becoming.