Drumroll...Number 4

Ok...here goes.

# 4 

Of the list on the right.

I ~ am ~ an ~ Artist

Whew

I didn't faint.

No spontaneous combustion.

No boos or hisses.

No mass of people with lit torches.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I stood in the middle of the weed filled garden this morning. Slowly taking it all in, overwhelmed with a desire to run back in but knowing that if I didn't plant the cuttings from my Mama's garden, they would die. I knelt down beside the baby peach tree and asked it where it wanted to be. Then deciding it might not understand I repeated my question in Spanish. My eye fell upon the spot it wanted; which of course was knee deep in weeds. With a deep breath I started my task...and quickly gave up and moved to the other side of the bed. Only to find myself dwarfed by weeds the size of small trees. I started back towards the house. Seeing the peach tree again I turned back to the bed and walked around. "This will take me days!" I whined dramatically. As I pulled and cursed and tripped and fell, it slowly dawned on me. 

It's not about 'finding' myself. It really is about a constant act of creating myself. Like the weed bed. Early summer it was weed free, I tended to it lovingly, then hid when the heat made it unbearable. The weeds took over. If I 'found' myself, that would be the end of it. The result: A weed free bed. But without the regular maintenance, eventually the 'weeds' would come back and fill my head. But by 'creating' myself, I take an active part in the ebb and flow of my life. I am present and aware. I can tend to the little nuances as they arise. If I fall, I can get up. If a particular 'weed' won't give, I arm myself accordingly and attack it from another angle.

I stood in the middle of the weed filled garden this morning. And looked at the newly planted peach tree in a good sized clearing. I looked beyond the remaining weeds and saw the 'semi-secret' garden I planted this year, my man sculpture, my stepping stone, the tiny gardens I planted in crevices. I 'saw' what the garden will look like one year when the weeds are replaced by ground cover. I thought of the daily drama I create here in blog land. And even the goofy little buttons I made for the woman's club. And it finally occurred to me that I am creative. I connect to the world around me in imaginative, colorful, dramatic ways.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There are various definitions for 'artist': a person who expresses themselves through a medium; a skilled performer; one who professes and practices an imaginative art; and finally my absolute favorite, 

"Art is an external expression of the Heart, Mind, and Soul, through the hands of love" 

I am an Artist

I came in from the garden with these
My watermelon baby weighs 15lb 

And after a shower I went to the studio
and created her
She's not done
but she won't have a mouth
Sometimes it's good to be silent
My son named this Silent Garden