An unexpected answer...

First, thank you all for your wonderfully cool and supportive comments. I'm not letting other people's feelings keep me from doing something I enjoy. Instead I am letting my ego. or whatever it is that likes to tell me "you suck", keep me from taking the first step. It uses any tidbits, any scrap of useless information, as fuel to launch its attack of "see, this and this proves you suck".

After yesterday's post, I had that little feeling that hey, I'm old enough to not care what I think of myself. Sure, it bugs me that I lack passion because I know if I had it I would stomp that egotistical voice in my head. But I think It and I know I'm getting close to getting fed up.

So I want to share this funny little thing that happened after writing yesterday's post.  I walked downstairs and picked up "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield intending to put it away. Without really intending to read anything I opened to a page and distractedly looked down and read.


"Resistance is directly proportional to love. If you're feeling massive Resistance, the good news is, it means there's tremendous love there too. If you didn't love the project that is terrifying you, you wouldn't feel anything. The opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference. The more Resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise is to you --and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it."

What a great thing to read after my post. It was like getting one of your comments...from the Universe. After several hours running errands I again came across the book realizing I never did put it away. I remembered the piece I read earlier and thought how coincidental that it related to my post so well. I thought it'd be nice to read it again but told myself I wouldn't find it quickly anyway so walked towards the bookcase. The number "42" popped into my head so curiously I opened the book to page 42. Yep, there it was again. I know I must have looked like a nut standing there laughing and talking out loud as I said to my guides "wow, you're good,  a comedian, and a bit of a smart ass too." I wonder if 'they' can pick up a book and smack me across the head?

So yesterday's post originated with my curiosity of other people's passion and society's thoughts about art. That 'hate it' or 'love it' mentality. But at the end of the day I was left  feeling supported by so many of you and even whatever led me to that book passage - twice. I suppose my resistance is a form of passion. Because nobody is as passionate at avoidance as I am. And yet, I can sense things are changing.

That road block I erected on my path looked like this a little over a year ago

Now, it's more like this

I can catch glimpses of the path beyond

And what I considered a permanent block to my progress

Is coming close to helping me to the other side

Imagine if I could turn my resistance into passion?

Whoa