"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"
Marianne Williamson
I saw this quote yesterday and it started me thinking. I've made some positive growth here in the last year and much of it has to do with your comments, the art workshops, the motorcycle, and the other 'book club' blog. And it helps that I'm alone much of the time. But when I find myself in large groups of people, like the store or even talking to old friends, I find that I have to make a concerted effort to focus on the positive and maintain the balance within. Sounds 'new-agey', huh? But perhaps it only happens to me. I can be content and start listening to people complain about what they saw on the news or overhear a (loud) gossipy cell phone conversation or someone's account of long medical woes, or God-forbid I find myself by an old coworker.
Don't get me wrong, I understand the medical conversation but there seems to be a point where that's all a person talks about. And I firmly believe that the strong focus on that just attracts more. And there are more complaints and bad willed talk 'out there' than there is positive. Have people always been so negative? Perhaps I'm just starting to notice it. Anyway, I digress. I'm happy one minute and it's as if I sponge up all these negative emotions and my feelings plummet. Suddenly the world doesn't seem as sunny or kind. I'm seeing the same ugliness they are. And let me tell you, it's alot of work for me to keep the balance.
So I run & hide. But I know that I need to be part of the world in order to keep learning. So I'm trying to learn to balance myself. It helps that I avoid those that I know are 'serial nay sayers'. And my new hope is that if I can soak up the negativity around me, perhaps I can 'radiate' the peacefulness I feel sometimes and have them soak up my feelings instead. I'm not there yet though. Apparently I'm still learning to control these feelings within before I can share them. Hmmm, I just wish I could share some of what I've been learning along the way. Having lived on the 'dark side' so long I can honestly say it's so much nicer on this side.
You are quite perceptive about feeling exhausted after being around a group of people. Emotional Vampires. I have had to retreat many times, to keep myself in some sort of upbeat mental state. I find that being alone produces more art energy. Being around certain people wears me out, sometimes for DAYS. (okay, that is me ALLOWING that to last that long)
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed a hard balancing act. I have found that I tend to shop at hours I am less likely to see people I don't really want to converse with, people on cell phones spilling their life history just drive me nuts!
We live in a media overload age, which I believe has affected the amount of negativity around. I don't believe people were always so difficult overall. I do think *news* 24/7 has warped a good portion of the population....
Which is why I just stay out here in the country a lot.
A LOT!!! LOL!!!
But I know right where you're coming from on this post. And I wish I had better advice.....
XXOO!!
Anne
Whew! I'm not the only one!! I came up w/ a solution though. I will coat myself in varnish so that I can't soak up bad vibes. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Elena, we are so of one mind - I find that again and again! I am super sensitive to other people's emotions. I have found though that after almost five years of not working and being home much, I've gotten so good at setting my own positive emotional tone that the longer I've been doing that the less I am influenced by those around me. Your positive vibe gets stronger and stronger.
ReplyDeleteNow, it take someone negative to be around me for a few days before I detect a dip in my mood. Like when Daniel's brother visited for two weeks (he's not negative, but just much more worldly than we are, getting into the news stories and such), I don't think it was by accident I had a bad cold. My vibe was off!
I do find that I shop in places that feel good to me. For example, we have two grocery stores here on the island. One is a little pricier, but whole experience shopping there is so much more positive than at the other store, that's where I go.
Ok, I'm rambling... Anyway, you are not the only one!! Love, Silke
Boy, I know what you mean about all the people out there who seem so focused on the negative in life. I guess that's why I like The Center so much and all the people I've met there! Even when someone is going thru a tough time, be it medical, relationships, whatever, there isn't that "wallowing" in the negative stuff. I think for the most part we all share the belief that good can come from bad times too and that helps us to lift each others spirits. But it can be hard---my therapist said that I seem to be someone who absorbs other peoples emotions and I believe that. Sounds like you are like that too. It may sound very "cliche" but I just keep trying to "be the change that I want to see in the world" and hope that eventually my feelings about life and my "awakening" will rub off on others. As a side note, I have a group of neighbors I meet with once a month to do rubber stamping and I NEVER talk to them about my AW group! When I first started going to AW I was in a real "honeymoon phase" with it all and I started to talk to the neighbors about it and I could just see their eyes glaze over and felt like they were thinking I had gone off the deep end. So I'm very careful who I share a lot of this with!! I save it for enlightened people like you!!!!
ReplyDeletei totally agree with you! i'm also on a lifelong quest for balance in my life! the only thing i can say about experiencing the negativity out there, is that it sure makes me appreciate the positive SO much more!!!
ReplyDeleteyou are not alone!! :))
Good topic about balance and sticking with the good stuff with these days.. but we have to learn how to handle it with GRACE... Some where I was told you can bless any one.. you don't have to be a prist.. what would happen if you we said something to these people around us like that... crabbbb, crabbb crabbb and you come around the corner and say Bless you.. Shocks the socks off them.. they don't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteMe, too, I'm watching my thoughts all the time. The negative thoughts are such habit, but they are so a drain on my energy. So I am very careful that I put myself in situations that are positive and if they're negative I run the other way. Like attracts like, negative attracts negative, so gotta remember that. Thanks Elena, for sharing here, I so know what you're talking about.
ReplyDeleteOh and I've got a husband whose always pointing out my negativity.(Sometime I"m not even aware of my words). Of course he can't be around me all the time, but little by little I'm letting more light come in.
Give yourself a hug, you deserve it.
Great topic and thoughts as usual! I like the posts on the Center although I've not experienced it. I subscribe to many, many, many positive daily emails. And rarely do I delete them before I read them, but oops, there might be some anal tendencies there.
ReplyDelete