Uh Oh...I'm Lost

Here's how the conversation went as we drove home from school

Me: Don't you wish we came prepackaged with a hint about our life's purpose?

Son: Well, we can't because God would send them as riddles and some people aren't good at solving them

Me: Well, maybe there's a Riddles for Dummies...


In the interim, there's a little book by Cherie Carter-Scott called If Life is a Game, These are the Rules.

1. You will receive a body
2. You will be presented with lessons
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons
4. A lesson is repeated until learned
5. Learning does not end
6. "There" is no better than "here"
7. Others are only mirrors of you
8. What you make of your life is up to you
9. All your answers lie inside of you
10. You will forget all of this at birth

~ ~ ~

And the little intermission was caused by a sidetrack off my path. Now sitting in the ditch for a bit to take a breather. Actually what comes to mind are the mice experiments where two mice are set in a maze to find the cheese. Mouse A moves effortlessly through the maze making quick detours when confronted with an obstacle. Mouse B makes it to the first obstacle and stays there. Choosing instead to stand on his hind legs to see if he can find a shortcut over the obstacle and eventually just sits there occasionally turning in circles. And I wonder why he doesn't just backtrack and take a new route.

Well, I'm the one going in circles. Even wishing for that shortcut in form of a hint from God that I'm heading in the right direction. I'm 42 and too old to be trying to figure out what I want to be "when I grow up" in this second half of life. Now that I'm 'career-less' I'm using my internal barometer to 'feel' my way through what may be right or wrong on my path. Although creating makes me happy, I finally think I have figured out why I will not call myself an artist. Artists will do anything to create; to fulfill that yearning to give birth to the ideas in their head. Me? I'm great at planting the little seeds in my head, nurturing them until they break ground, and then walking away to let them die. I lack the desire. I'm not sure why yet. But isn't this enough of an indication that perhaps it's not my path; no matter how enjoyable?

And then there's the woman's club. Which after a year I still don't enjoy. And I volunteer, grudgingly go to the meetings, and even attended one of the social events the other evening. And with all the people there, I was still bored and felt out of my element. I don't care for that kind of stuff; massages, pedicures, photos with feathery boas.... And I wonder what my problem is. They are nice women; doing great things for the community. But I hate it. I must have a screw loose. And yet I stay. Wondering if there's a lesson for me here. Knowing that if it were a group of artists or bikers doing the same thing I would have more fun. Why? Where's the sense in that?

And I know enough now that everything presented in life is a lesson. No matter how painful at the time, each thing I've experienced has served as a stepping stone to something else. But what about now? I have no clue where to go from here. And I feel as if I'm wasting time. But could this in itself be a lesson? Patience? Or perhaps I need to get off my butt and detour a bit to find the right path.

So whataya say God, send me the riddle.

I found the book "Brain Games for Dummies"

or atleast send a map

or AAA