RIP

I just found out hubby's best friend, Brian, passed away. I know in my heart that it is only our physical body that dies and that our soul, our essence, moves into another place we cannot see. But even so it doesn't soothe the ache in my heart which has quickly moved into anger. He didn't have to die so soon.

He recently discovered he had lung cancer which had spread throughout his body. Results of so much smoking and long hours sitting in a bar drinking hard liquor. Couple that with a high stress job as a manager in Chicago's Streets & San. And what's it all for? Did he enjoy the time he was here?

When I met him I had just started learning to ride the Harley. He called me Pocahontas because of the braids I wore to keep my hair from becoming a tangled mess. Like a big brother he patiently listened with a big smile as I explained excitedly about the day's accomplishments. He'd tell my hubby how lucky he was that he had found someone to enjoy life with. I'd tell him he could enjoy life too. What was stopping him? And he'd turn back to his drink and cigarette and say no, no I'm too old.

But a couple years ago he bought a motorcycle and joined us on a ride. At the first stop he had that huge grin and thanked us. Said he had forgotten there was life out there.

So why did he have to die so soon after discovering this? It's just not fair. And I guess it makes me realize that it is important to take care of yourself so that you don't check out just as you are starting to find life. So, I'll get started with taking care of myself better Monday and will discuss it on the Fluffy Exterior blog.

Goodbye Brian.
I'm going to miss watching you in my mirror.