Birth-day

After 8 years of trying

Prayers, doctors, meds

Trying to make deals with God

We gave up 

And then...poof he was there

A tiny seedling nestled deep inside

They said it was near-impossible

And yet there he was

And I wonder how it is

He has arrived at this age

With me as a mom

My little guy who never had time for silliness

Who would rather be with adults than kids

The one with the serious face

And rare, but oh-so-glorious, smile

The one who at 2 staged car accidents with his Hot Wheels

and played sad classical music as a backdrop

The one who at 4 walked around with medical photos

Explaining how the docs fixed his Mama

He's smart, artistic and musical

He's hilarious, sarcastic and kind

And he doubts his abilities

Just like his Mama

And he's 13 today

I feel as if I just walked him to the edge of the frontier

And am setting him loose

I want to tie a rope around his ankle

And pull him back from lurking dangers

From the pitfalls and sharp edges

From heartaches and worries and doubts

And yet I know 

his path is not my path to walk

And I know that those perceived dangers

are but mere pebbles along that path

that beauty and adventure await him

and it's all his to experience

But you'd better believe

I'll be on the sidelines 

Just in case he needs to be pulled up by the bootstraps

Because as exciting as it is that my baby is 13 today

I'm scared as all hell
(ha! can you imagine when he turns 16, 18, 21???)