Morbid fascination?

This is longer than expected.

Maybe you could read it over a week

My Dad was ill for quite a while so the family alternated the time spent being with him. Here was a man I had been deathly afraid of. A man who only exhibited hatred, meanness and was now reduced to relying on care from the person he hated the most, my Mama. During lucid moments, he went back to being his stern self but the moments where his illness took over were the fascinating ones.

It started with regularly dreaming of people who had died. Then it became small moments of thinking he had seen someone from the past. As his illness progressed, so did these occurrences. One day as I walked into his private hospital room, something 'felt' different. He looked up at me as I leaned down to kiss his forhead. "Where did your brother go?" he asked. I wasn't sure what to say since my brother was dead. He noticed my hesitation and telling me I was such a 'stupi' he said my brother and I had just crossed paths at the doorway. I laughed and said 'oh yeah, he went to the cafeteria'.

I was fascinated. Could it be true that the dead start to gather to assist a crossing back? At the time, I wouldn't dare ask anyone. I just watched. Each day it seemed more happened. It was no longer in dreams. It became 'you just passed so and so' or 'my niece kept me up all night talking non-stop...boy she's a talker' or 'open your eyes, he's right behind you'. The only hurtful moment happened to my Mama as she entered the room and my Dad asked if she had had a fight with my brother. She replied she hadn't and my Dad said 'oh, I thought it was odd that you and the boy just brushed shoulders at the door and he turned to smile at you but you kept walking'. That made my Mama cry.

During his last days my Dad would be looking at or talking to someone. He spoke of many visitors who no longer seemed to leave. We gathered for Thanksgiving and he sat at the table like old times. That evening my Mama tucked him into the hospital bed in his room and raised the sides to keep him from falling. By then he couldn't walk without a walker so she was worried he'd fall. She went to her bedroom in the attic and fell asleep. During the night she heard my Dad call to her asking if she were asleep. She looked towards the attic doorway and saw him standing there. She panicked when she didn't see the walker and knew he was at the top of a long flight of stairs. "Don't move" she called out. As she put on her slippers she spoke to him to engage him in conversation "do you feel sick? are you okay? don't move I'm going to turn on the stairway light". She made her way to the spiral staircase that was closer to her side of the room, intent on running across the kitchen below to turn on the light behind him and help him down. As she raced across the kitchen she happened to cross his room. The nightlight lit the hospital bed and she noticed he was lying in bed asleep. She panicked thinking he had come down alone. Confused she went to the staircase and looked up and saw he was still standing at the attic doorway.

Scared out of her senses by now and figuring she'd rather confront the flesh & blood version, she went to the hospital bed. He wouldn't wake up. My Dad had slipped into a coma and died several hours later once we were all gathered. I know I've talked about his moment of death so I won't go into it again. The thing is, I noticed this same 'seeing the dead' happen to my father in law before he died. It seems to start with little dream visits and progressively become the 'he's right behind you' moments. I'm seeing it with my mother in law but thankfully it's just the dream visits and hasn't progressed.

My Mama has been ill and mentioned several days of these dream visits. She was happy to see her mom and others but then she said my Dad has been there as well. I worried. Although she made me laugh when she said 'damn it, he hated being around me in life what the hell is he doing hanging around me like a vulture now'. (tee hee) She has agreed to come stay with me a few days. I hope in doing so I can shoo away the lurking vultures. This is my Mama we're talking about. They need to go. Tee hee

We have an agreement.

When she passes she can't pop out at me from any dark corners.

I'll die.