Anger is not always bad

Shortly after waking I received a call that my Mama was in the hospital

She had fallen on the stairs

and dislocated her ankle and broke the tibia and fibula

my sisters had been with her in the emergency room

so I went to relieve them for the next six hours

Since my poor Mama was knocked out in a morphine-induced sleep

I had alot of time to think

And I thought back to my anger post and the great comments

I was intrigued by the thought that anger could be caused by fear

And I wondered

Was I afraid of that neighbor?

Was I afraid at other times when I've experienced anger?

And the really interesting thing was the answer

No

My anger is usually fueled by injustice

Basically, I'm noticing that there are victims and there are bullies

(and a whole slew of in-betweeners)

The bullies thrive on getting their way by intimidation

I'm not going to discuss the victims at this point

The bullies are never wrong

The bullies will use any means to get what they want

Some obvious and some not so obvious

They claim political correctness, sexual harassment, threaten legal action

They whine, lie, are master manipulators
It's the wife who uses tears to get what she wants, and smirks when she does
The managers who find a scapegoat to divert attention from themselves
The adult temper tantrums

They point fingers at anyone but themselves

because of course, it's everyone else's fault

because they can do no wrong

I see so many people willing to let this behavior go

"oh we don't want to get involved"

"oh he's just like that"

"oh I'm scared"

And in reminiscing I was intrigued

I've always considered myself a marshmallow

A weakling

But when confronted by moments of injustice

I react in anger

Sometimes stupid anger that could have caused me harm

But not something I had time to ponder

When that boyfriend slapped me and I kicked his motorcycle down

it wasn't until I was being chased that I thought uh-oh

When that mugger hit me in the chin and I pushed him into the fence

it wasn't until the cop chastised me that I thought yeah that was stupid

When that guy grabbed my butt in Mexico and I punched him in the face

it wasn't until my uncle asked who had hit Mr. So and So that I thought damn

When being told to choose between work and family
Or to keep quiet

But still, how dare they

What gives people the right to think they can get away with anything

We do

Because we let them

And as I sat in the hospital I called hubby

to see how his meeting was going with the condo neighbor and inspector

The kid and his Dad had already decided on the cause

and refused to listen to the inspector's findings

I listened as hubby talked about what we should do

I listened as he became frustrated

I thought about being quiet

thought about letting 'the man' take care of man business

Laughed at that thought reminding myself 'since when'

I thought about that neighbor and how he talks to his wife

How she jumps

And decided I'm talking to a lawyer tomorrow

I'm not going to be bullied into something

by some weekend-warrior who thinks intimidation is going to work with me

And I didn't even get angry

I must have been a cowboy in a past life
And got killed in the process; but I bet I stood up for myself 

So my Mama is bandaged up

and in a nursing/rehab home

I'll be there tomorrow

trying to find out how fast we can spring her so I can bring her home with me

~ ~ ~
I'm not trying to pat myself on the back
I hope it doesn't sound like that
Just words as I try to understand the world I live in