Like a See-Saw

Thank you SO SO SO very much to those who commented in the previous post

and to the off-blog words of wisdom

I just love y'all

So 43 isn't too old to make changes

"old dog new tricks" and all

So here's my thoughts

A few years ago I was fully immersed in society

Constant noise, traffic jams, stress, meetings, taking work home, working weekends

Selfish people living with their own agendas, not thinking twice
of stabbing each other in the back

And everything else that goes with living in a concrete box

I hardly saw a tree unless it was on the expressway

Let's call that 'living on the far left'

Then I had enough and brought it to a screeching halt

I separated myself and family from society

Moved to the cusp of the country

Among the trees and stars and birds and sweet silence

I hardly see a person unless I drive to town

Let's call that 'living on the far right'

The Universe introduced me to myself

And although awkward at first, we're finally learning to understand each other

I've tapped into a creative and spiritual side I never knew existed

And I love this far right side

So I was surprised when I recently started feeling that tiny restless feeling

Like prickly legs coming awake

And I thought, 'oh COME ON, now what'

Soon after I had to start work at the condo

The little issue with the neighbor and finally my Mama's fall

Yesterday was the first time in 14 days that I stayed home

I sat in traffic, fought to maintain stress free, and didn't see a tree

I was slipping to the far left

And it hit me

Some people do perfectly fine with living on the left

Some people are born to live on the right

And those like me are meant for the middle ground

with sways to the left and the right

It's a perfect dance

It's why I always have to go farther

Why I can't settle for long

I don't outgrow and lose it

I'm harvesting and putting the experience into my backpack

for the journey ahead

Atleast I know now that I don't want to return to the far left

And I feel I'm meant to do something with the far right

But I suspect that will reveal itself in time

I just have to be patient (ha!)

and remember to stay aware of what's happening

I also suspect I'm going to end up somewhere between the middle and the right

Slightly off balance

Just like my crazy mind

But oh what fun

More and more I realize how fitting the word Antevasin is

The antevasin was an in-betweener. 

he was a border-dweller. 

He lived in sight of both worlds, but he looked toward the unknown. 

And he was a scholar.”

I study life

~ ~ ~

As a side note

Hubby and I were driving to the condo when I said I hated urban sprawl

Said if development came any closer I was moving again

Said if I can't afford it I'll wander

Maybe join a cult in the southwest

He laughed and said

'I don't think they'd have you...you can't be controlled'

Sadly he's right

I don't even have control