Soul Coaching - Air Week Wrap Up

Soul Coaching - Air Week Wrap Up

With Christmas it was a bit difficult to follow the daily instructions but it seems I was following along without realizing it. I continued to sort through the clutter of papers; even organizing my son's electronics clutter (I think I was just avoiding doing mine).
Day 4 asked "Where are you now in your life" say our identities are often formed by life's circumstances and reminds us that we are NOT our identities. It asks that we observe our conditioned reaction to things. Things are good or bad depending on the meaning we give them. If we see the world as an angry place, we'll keep seeing angry people and situations. Try to change your words when describing something, "I am depressed" can become "I'm a little down" or "I have too much to do" can become "I'm seeing what I'm capable of."
Day 5 focused on "Clutter - Energy Up/Energy Down" and related to the feelings our belongings raise in us. If we pick up a vase in our bedroom, will we feel happy or will it remind us of that fight with our dad? It reminds us that we are not our things. Clear out things that don't make you happy. I thought this next statement was interesting because it applies to my sister."Keeping clutter that you might need someday is a negative affirmation." It tells your subconscious mind that although you're good now and don't need it, you may not be okay later and will. I think of my sis collecting crutches, walkers, medical 'things' because she got a deal on them and she'd have them just in case. But could it be why she's always sick? Is she attracting what she's expecting?
Day 6 "Lightening Up - Letting Go While Doing More Clutter-Clearing"  talks about clutter also being internal. Having overwhelming schedules, always thinking, analyzing, etc etc never gives us time to listen to our inner guidance. It recommends further clearing of clutter and taking a few minutes to sit in silence.
Day 7  "Exploring Your Soul Mission in Life" starts by recommending you write a mission statement that can help bring clarity to your life. It's a day to watch for signs, coincidences, messages carried in the winds.

Day 7 was yesterday. And oh hell what a day!
My son woke me up at 4:30 to look out the window. The house at the corner was on fire. I ran outside thinking the people were still inside and then realized the firetrucks were just arriving. As I watched the flames engulf the roof I prayed their dogs got out. Why? It took several water tank trucks and hours to get it under control. House fires are my top fear. I must have died in one. I was convinced we were next and couldn't calm my spirit. Once inside I walked past the tv to hear about a home invasion and another about an elderly man being robbed. I felt worse. Then I saw the gift my son's stepmom gave him. A full size family photo of her, my ex, their son and mine. I got sick. Physically.

Then I was ashamed. I thought I had come to terms with divorce, new families, new babies, fires, evil in the world, and I wallowed in this negativity. I picked up the book and found Day 7 and read "If this event had a message for my life, what would it be?" I thought oh hell, isn't that damned selfish to find personal meaning in something bad that's happening to others? And my shame turned to anger. I thought ok the message is "GET OVER IT". Then I slowly realized the fires symbolized loss of material possessions. People (and pets) are the most important. The billboard sized family portrait symbolized a loss of relationship and the kids I can't have. And knowing that the photos of that phase of life are waiting downstairs and that I am avoiding them. But the scab is open now so I'll probably be sorting through those this week. And the news - it's banned for good. One great thing did outweigh the others. I got an update on the little boy who opened his Christmas presents. He was so excited that Santa actually remembered him and knew what little boys like. He hides two little cars under his pillow in case Santa realizes he gave too much and comes back for them. Too much? I only gave him three cars and a stocking filled with misc. little things. So this day turned out to be about my perceptions on possessions.

Jeez, no wonder I decided to walk through life oblivious for so long. This can be pretty dowright painful. How many more days???

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"I traveled to many countries and studied the traditions of many other cultures, but in the end I realized that the answers were inside of me...as they always had been. I had been so busy seeking the answers outside of myself that I had not really stopped to look inside." Denise Linn