This time of the year makes me squirm
Where the Christmas magic begins to fade
Replaced by the 'join the gym now!'
and
'You can be a new you!' ads
and
And I want to be a new me
Until I'm asked about my new year intentions
and
and
I - DON'T - KNOW
I try to trick myself and say fill in the blank
"When I grow up I want to be _____"
But
I'm grown up
Now what?
I'm grown up
Now what?
That's the trouble with career changes.
And trying to find yourself.
In order to recreate yourself.
And so I'm faced with the indecision.
Do I go back to the safety of my oblivious little cocoon?
I want to close my eyes tight and hide.
But I've already experienced growth
And I suppose it makes sense to march forward
Probably better than staying in a state of suspended animation.
Where my soul is half thawed.
Where I'm about to discover who I am.
And find it scary as all hell.
And with each question I ask
The only response I get is
Trust
And I remember that it's all I can do
And atleast I know there's always someone to pick me up
If I should fall
If I should fall
Elena,
ReplyDeletegot to ask is that you out there on the pier??? if so how cool is that.
The transition time is hard, feeling a little of that myself but be patient and use your time wisely...And Intention can be as simple as you make them....
Yep, me on the pier with hubby after a day of riding through Missouri. Pier was bouncy & slippery. And he was ready-just in case.
ReplyDeleteI know I know...been thre done that and doing it again !
ReplyDeleteboth of my kids graduate in 2010....one from high school and one from college and then that question will once again smack in the head "what do you want to be, now that you are really grown up and your kids really don't need you much and all you've done is been at their beck and call the last 22 years"
sometimes it's depressing, but I'm going the other route....I'm totally going to discover ME ME ME and be selfish...really selfish for once !
want to be selfish with me ????
Elena,
ReplyDeleteAnother beautiful post, both words and images tell such a heartfelt, honest story. I think the answer is within who we are, looking into our heart,trusting that the answer has always been there. It seems you know that really. That last image so fits the words and then when you said it was you and your husband, I melted with emotion. Stay true to your path, there are many who hold out their hands and hearts to keep you steady as you do for me, my friend!
I could see you enlarging that last image and framing it. So empowering.
Every step that you take shows me the way (Just some words from a song I am listening to at this very moment. (seems appropriate here), yes Elena, your words teach.......
Sometimes we're found and don't even realize it ... beautiful photos.
ReplyDeleteYou can have an intention that you'll stop beating yourself up about where you are going... and what you want to be. Trust sounds good for the year.
ReplyDelete