Tight Rope - REVISED

EVENING ADDENDUM
I had to come and add this in here. Warning, I'll sound like a total nut but I have to write this for future reference. I don't really know how to explain what happened so I'll just spill it. Hubby and I went to an antique store in Ottawa yesterday. I walked into the basement of one store and there was a little cubby with two horse saddles and lots of horse gear. I felt a smile at the corner of my mouth as I walked into the small space and breathed in the smell of leather. I ran my hand across the saddle and I felt a strange stirring in my belly and a tingling sensation in my chest. I didn't exactly feel sad, it was more like an unbelievable longing for the West, a sunset, the feel of a horse. I pulled my hand away and just stood there. I touched the second saddle and nothing. I backed away and walked through the other spaces. I found hubby and told him he had to see the saddles. It was an excuse to go back and I touched the saddle again. Again I felt the stirring; I sensed the smell of leather and feel of a wool blanket. I pulled away and told hubby I feel strange. So when I woke up this morning, the sadness set in.  I really really must be losing touch....

~~~~~~~~~~~ ORIGINAL POST~~~~~~~~~~~

Ugghh...walking an emotional tightrope today. My feeling of peace is being disrupted. I'm fighting off the feelings of sadness.

And all it took was:

For Sale signs at the cornfields, watching the hunters in orange jackets stalking their prey, the looming construction of a logistics center which will swallow up more of the natural lands, knowing there are empty logistics centers down the road, commercials of abused animals and kids, and blogs with frozen birdies. It all threatens to open the doors to the doom & gloom I know lurke inside just waiting for a chance.

But for now, I long for the open lands of the Southwest. The sounds of nature, the warmth of the sun, the sound of a horse trotting, and the blue blue skies.

You'd never believe I grew up in the city, huh?
I think it's time to retreat. Find some balance.